Are you dating a narcissist? The trouble is it can sometimes be hard to spot a narcissist, and such is the insidious nature of much of their behavior, you may not always be aware they are actually behaving in a way which is in any way detrimental to your relationship. But no matter how you first got together with your partner, whether it was after embarking on a quest to find girls to date online, or you followed a more traditional matching route, here are the six blind spots and commensurate red flags to look for should you be unfortunate enough to find yourself dating a narcissist.
1. It’s all about them
Outwardly, a narcissistic partner will display traits which seem to be effusive. They may well appear to be the life and soul of the party, with something to say about any conversation topic arising. But the fact is, a narcissist is only so exuberant because they believe they’re at the center of the world. Perhaps they do seem to be engaged when they are chatting. But if you could read their thoughts, you’d realize they aren’t paying the blindest bit of attention to anyone else. Whatever you are talking about is merely a lull before their next pronouncement.
The red flags to watch out for: they’re not interested in your family, your friends, your issues. And don’t expect any praise when you’re successful at something.
2. They won’t accept blame
A narcissistic partner will be supremely egotistical. This will manifest as out and out arrogance. Don’t you ever dare to criticize them because they will swiftly jump down your throat. Are they willing to listen to your arguments, even when you know you’re right about something and they’re wrong? Absolutely not.
Red flags to look out for are the way they talk to people outwith your relationship. Are they polite to bank staff or waiters? Or do they act disrespectfully, clicking their fingers and demanding personal attention? Race relations? Some of their attitudes may well throwback to the 1960s.
3. They’re on a pedestal
A narcissist displays a sense of entitlement at all times. This is actually masking massive insecurity. This sort of behavior isn’t so far removed from what you would expect from some tinpot dictator, locked away in the pampered luxury of their remote palace, the concerns of their populace reduced to irrelevancies.
The red flags here are boastfulness about their own perceived achievements, set against the constant belittling of everyone else.
4. They are Machiavellian
Not for your narcissistic partner the normal routes of compromise or balanced discussion about issues. It’s their way or no way. They certainly don’t do negotiation.
The red flags: they simply cannot empathize with you, or indeed anyone else. Even if they are successful to some extent, rather than accept praise for any length of time they’ll quickly bore of the subject and move on.
5. They can be sexually voracious
Sure you may be in for an exhilarating time when you get intimate with a narcissist, but after they’ve simmered for a while they’ll quickly lose interest.
The red flags: don’t expect anything mutually-enjoyable when you get physical. After they’ve satisfied their own desires, you’ll be dismissed. If they’re not in the mood, then forget it.
6. False impressions
Narcissists are adept at manipulation. Expect to be flattered and bombarded with compliments. Again, this is an emotional smokescreen, because the red flag in this situation is you are being lulled into a false sense of contentment by someone who has their own agenda. They are merely preying on your vulnerability.