A peacefulness follows any decision, even a wrong one.Rita Mae Brown
I have let go of the notion that there are “right” decisions and there are “wrong” decisions. I have learned any decisions I make are the best decisions I make at a specific point in time with the information I have at that one point in time. As time changes, my decisions change.
Even the “wrong” decisions have shown me the many, many ways I do not want to go. They have been some of my most valuable lessons and with every “wrong” decision comes the invaluable lesson of what to look for (or not look for) the next time I’m faced with which road to take.
I have also come to realize that the tough part of decision making is just deciding and putting the stake in the ground. Oh, the energy wasted in the struggle of making a decision.
No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.Agnes deMille
My question back to Agnes deMille is, “Why not?” For all the time and energy and struggle and fortitude it sometimes takes me to get to that stake in the ground, I deserve trumpets.
I am very fond of setting goals and keeping my vision alive to achieve those goals. One of my main goals is to allow decisions to come to me easily and effortlessly and when I feel the struggle to remind myself it’s just a leap of faith. I get to do the footwork and let go of the results.
When I think of doing this, I think of the challenge to truly believe everything I do in this world is a choice. Life is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. Everything. No exceptions. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
Try looking at your world through the lens of “Everything I do is a choice.” See how different your day is. See how powerful you are, for when you come from a place of choice, you cannot be a victim.
One of the biggest fears that keeps us from moving ahead with our lives is our difficulty in making decisions. The problem is that we have been taught “Be careful! You might make the wrong decision!” We are afraid that the wrong decision will deprive us of something – money, friends, lovers, status or whatever the right decision is supposed to bring us.
Before making a decision do the following:
- Focus immediately on a No-Lose Model. Believe that regardless of which path you choose, each path has nothing but ‘goodies’ along the way. These are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out who you are and who you would really like to be and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities – despite the outcome.
- Do your homework. It is most helpful to learn about the alternatives that lie before you. Talk to as many people as will listen. Approach professionals for their opinions. Look for feedback. Talk to those people who support your learning and growing.
- Establish your priorities. Give yourself time to think about what you want. Remember, goals constantly change as you go through life, and you have to keep reassessing them.
- Trust your impulses. Although you might have difficulty getting to the “person within” through the soul-searching process, your body gives great clues about which way to go. Trust your gut.
- Lighten up. We live in a world where most people take themselves and their decisions very seriously. I have news for you. Nothing is that important. Whatever happens as a result of your decision, you’ll handle it.
List excerpted from Susan Jeffers’ book: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”.
Written by Pat Obuchowski.