The fact is fear does not always go away. The higher the stakes, the higher the fear. This is where the great majority of the people will stop. Fear too often wins at this crossroad. We all likely,have at least one area where we are unstoppable and others where fear has us believing the lies it tells. If only it were possible to do a transference of courage in a pill or liquid form. Instead, the courage is going to have to originate inside of us.
- Habits Can Be Changed. Deciding that your fear is right is a habit. Deciding that courage is the better option, if you are striving for growth in your life, is not as easy to do as it is to write. But like mastering anything, we can start by taking small steps. Perhaps, you get to a place mentally and spiritually where the decision to pivot is so strong, you can change cold turkey. Most people, though, are going to have to make a conscious effort to work on it. All or nothing tends to lead to nothing. Slow and consistent will get you there. You get to decide what pace is best & most effective for you.
- Your Fear Is Not Yours. Don’t claim it. Our fears stem from any number of things like life experiences, trauma, what you were taught growing up. It is real only in our minds, yet, we are too easily willing to take fear on as if it is an absolute truth. What if we took the time to really examine if the fear that we are allowing to control us even ours in the first place? Memories of the past can follow us and steer our present interactions. Some things are easier than others but it is a good idea to move past or make peace with fear so that you can own what is yours and return the rest to sender. Sometimes, we take over where a parent or guardian left off. Sometimes, an event is so intense it hinders our every move going forward. When you find yourself going backwards, stop and remind yourself that it is not your voice, not your fear, not your innate belief. Recognizing this can begin a journey of figuring out which fears are warranted and which are unnecessary hindrances.
- Observe Your Emotions. There is no way to just “think positive” all day everyday. We all know that. Feeling our feelings are the best way through them. Have them. Make an effort to focus on your breathing and observe your emotions with some objectivity. What is the fear about. Truly about? Do you need to do therapy, hypnosis, Reiki, Polarity,work with a coach or journal your answers? Find something to help your emotions so that you can start re-framing the automatic fear reaction that flares. Because as long as we are alive there will be factors that are in our control and factors that are not. We do not have to stifle our emotions to observe ourselves reacting. We can learn to be proactive.
- Opinions Don’t Harm You. The opinion of other people is not very important. This is true for both positive and negative opinions. Someone can love you and then quickly decide they don’t for any number of reasons. Some can despise you but what bearing will it have on your life? What is the worst that can happen if someone doesn’t like you? They don’t buy your product or come to your event or socialize with you. That is about it. Sounds like a win to me. If you think everyone should like you, you have a tough road ahead of you. It’s not possible for everyone to like you, buy from you, book you. This is likely for the best. You will find your people and your people will find you. Surround yourself with people that make you feel like your best self.
- Gift Yourself Proof. You can do what you fear. Sometimes the only way out is through. Start with something that is not your biggest fear but still a challenge. Start small. Do it. Give yourself the gift of feeling the accomplishment for getting to the other side of your fear. My guess is that what you imagine will be so much worse than what happened 8.5 times out of 10. Do it again with something a bit scarier. Do it until doing things in spite of fear becomes a new habit. The first one, even though it’s a small fear, it may be the most challenging because it’s the first time. The more you jump, the more you’ll realize that you’ve always had wings.
Some of these things are easier than others to implement into your life depending on who you are. However, it is possible for all of us to implement changes in how we react to fear if we do it in bite sized steps. Perhaps, you are a super go-getter and once you decide to make a change, it’s happening. The first step for any of us is to realize what are fears are really about. Observe your fear as it is happening. See what you observe so that it no longer has a tight grip on you. Accept that fear may not ever completely go away. Plan in advance how you will react. Because fear is no reason for you to put more value on it than on moving forward with what you desire for your life or business.