Last week I wrote an article about Healthy Habits in Relationships. Well, you guessed it this week I wanted to write about the opposite. We all have unhealthy habits that we do in our daily lives. Some I’m sure are quite disgusting. But, having unhealthy habits when dating or in a relationship with someone is something to take note of, because many of us take these unhealthy habits and bring them with us to our next relationship or person we welcome into our life.
1.) Trying to change the other person you’re with
Most of us have probably done this at some point, I know I have. We picture in our heads the person we’re with and what we wish them to be. We try to change them, or turn them into something we wish they were. But, when it really comes down to it, we can’t change other people. But, what we can do is accept them for who they are and be in support of their flaws. As I stated in my article last week, we have to acknowledge each other’s flaws, and accept the person for who they are.
2.) Making Assumptions
We do this in our heads all the time. Making assumptions about what are partner is thinking, where they are, who they’re talking to, etc. Assumptions are beliefs that we make up in our heads and try to convince ourselves that it’s true. We do this with many things in life, but if assumptions are coming up in your relationships and you really want to talk about them with your partner, then you definitely should have that conversation!
I really do believe jealousy stems from insecurities we have within ourselves. We get jealous because we might no think we are enough for the person we are with or not good looking enough, etc. If you’re getting jealous of your partner’s success or really anything they have going on in their life, you should take a look within yourself and see where the jealous is originating. Which leads me to my next point.
I think jealousy can arise from comparing, which as I stated really stems from insecurities we have within ourselves. If you’re comparing yourself to your partner, that is not a good sign. Look deep within. All that’s going to lead to is resentment in the future. A man or a woman in a relationship might compare themselves to their current partner’s past partner’s or just even each other’s successes in life. It comes down to being in support of each other and realizing that you’re both unique in your own way. Work together as a team.
5.) Playing the Blame Game
When things aren’t going the way we want them to in our life, we tend to blame the people closest around us, especially our romantic partners. We blame them for feeling a certain way or really just putting all our problems on them. We blame people for experiencing circumstances in our lives, but never accept that fault within ourselves.