Have you noticed that children often come home from school squeezed out like a lemon? It’s not just the difficulty of learning, but the stress they face on a daily basis.
Stress is stressful. There are everyday and traumatic stressors. They differ in that traumatic stress is provoked by a direct negative impact (a tragic event, the experience of an emotionally tense situation), and everyday stress arises more often due to the expectation of possible negative events and is characterized by less intensity, but longer duration. Everyday stress is something that children face on a daily basis in their schooling process.
Everyday emotional stress is intense and always expected, but, unfortunately, not always obvious. It is caused by a situation of uncertainty when we know that an event can happen (homework check, control) and foresee a possible unpleasant outcome of events. Everyday stressors are not stressful events in themselves, the degree of “stressfulness” depends on the person’s assessment of possible events or their consequences. Psychological stress occurs when a person has judged that external and internal demands cause excessive stress or exceed internal resources.
Below are the tips which can be helpful to fight with stress.
Stop Pushing The Child Beyond His/Her Capability
Parenting messages 1 can exacerbate a stressful situation. Often the idea is broadcast to the child that he is the pride of the whole family, that the fate of the world almost depends on him and it is on him (13-year-old, for example) that all the hopes of mom, dad, grandparents, uncle of a hereditary academician. A task arises that he cannot and should not cope with at this age (but all his relatives repeat daily that he should). You don’t have to look for a job yet, and they already tell him that he now has to do mathematics (and generally study well) in order to find a good job after some time.
Experience Of Achievement Is Needed
The child must have his own experience of achievement, he will influence other areas of his life. When you have success in your studies, in sports, various awards, your psyche is stronger. Naturally, the level of self-esteem increases, which directly affects how the child deals with stress.
Consider Biological Rhythms
Bursts of activity can occur at different times – in the morning, at school time. After a hearty lunch or after school, the child, on the contrary, wants to rest. In the evening, for example, he is ready to work again. Therefore, there is no need to force him to do his homework as soon as he came home from school and let him play with his top badminton rackets. It is better to guess the periods when it is easier for him, or together with him determine this time.
Your child spends about the same amount at school and homework as you do at work. Many children study more than their parents work (6-7 hours a day + homework). If stress is associated with the study, then you need to take a break from it. As you know, rest is a change of activity, in this case, creativity, communication, physical activity can help. It is important not to overdo it and not turn the switch of activities into a new race for achievement. If your child enjoys playing football in the yard, drawing graffiti in notebooks, or beating rhythms on pots, give him that opportunity.
Tell The “Truth” About Grades
Assessments are largely subjective, but often children do not understand why they even receive objective assessments. A deuce can be for registration, for content, for being late, for a forgotten diary. And these are completely different twos. It is necessary to explain to the child that it is not he who is assessed, but his actions according to the given criteria. As soon as he understands this, the assessment is automatically removed from the person (i.e., just a deuce – it means I’m a poor student, but here I didn’t do it well for the design).
As you can see, children are no less stressed than adults. We have analyzed the main reasons that relate specifically to academic performance. We have compiled a universal algorithm for you: look for the cause of stress and solve the problem that leads to it; find all situations of uncertainty and translate them into situations of certainty; pay attention to the child’s internal and external resources, they will help him cope with difficulties. This will be an important investment in your child’s future.