“5 Things You Should Do To Become a Thought Leader In Your Industry” With Nicole Moore

Thought leadership can play a huge role in brand partnerships, sponsorships and JV opportunities. Big brands want to partner with thought leaders and know that the person they’re choosing to work with to promote their company is on the leading edge. In addition, if your business is a service-based business, thought leadership can be the […]

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Thought leadership can play a huge role in brand partnerships, sponsorships and JV opportunities. Big brands want to partner with thought leaders and know that the person they’re choosing to work with to promote their company is on the leading edge. In addition, if your business is a service-based business, thought leadership can be the unfair advantage that has people know for certain that they want to work with you. I can’t tell you how many times a potential customer comes our way and says “I follow a ton of other relationship coaches but I can just tell from your content that Love Works is different.” 
In service based businesses the client is often looking exactly for someone who will lead them out of their current situation / reality into a higher level of existence so when you demonstrate fully that you are a thought leader it makes it very easy for clients to self select themselves into your work rather than you having to convince anyone to work with you.

As part of our series about how to become known as a thought leader in your industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Nicole Moore. Nicole is the CEO and founder of Love Works and a Love Coach and who helps powerful, influential women find their ideal partner. Using her signature Love Works Method, she’s helped hundreds of women find lasting love fast (for example, she helped a client who had been single for 10 years find her dream man in under three months). Nicole started her Love Coaching company while she was in a relationship that she thought would lead to marriage. Instead, it resulted in emotional abuse and her boyfriend cheating on her. Suddenly single as a life coach, Nicole had to start following her own advice and take every step she’d ever taught a client — and it worked. She found her dream man exactly one year after following her own program. Nicole has three life coaching certifications, including a certification from New York University. She’s been featured in Forbes, Money magazine, Inc.com and Thrive Global, and she lives in Encinitas, California with her husband and son.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?

It all started in the womb! To make a long story short, when I was born 3 months premature as a twin, the doctor told my mother “don’t get attached to these kids because they are going to die.” That created what I call a “love crack” in my mom, a moment where fear crept in and started to cover up the place where love should be. What followed was a childhood where I never heard the words “I love you” from my mother or my father and years of low self-esteem as a result. 
As I grew older, I knew I had to heal within because my parents were only doing the best they could at the time, but I had some major worthiness and love wounds within that were causing my love life to be a complete mess. 
I started studying personal development and spiritual growth intensely at age 23 and at age 26 decided to quit my office job (I’d worked in public relations for 5 years) to figure life out. I found out about life coaching and decided to get certified and the rest is history. 
I quickly found that I absolutely adored and excelled at coaching and I decided to start a business helping women find their worthiness in love and make love work. 
At that moment, everything came full circle and I saw that the pain in my childhood had created this intense inner drive to figure out how to make love work and I could use all my own years of studying love and my own inner journey to help other women transform and thrive in love.

Can you briefly share with our readers why you are an authority about the topic of thought leadership?

I believe thought leaders aren’t just in business for themselves. Their mission extends far beyond personal or business gain but they dream of being a part of creating a sea change in their particular industry. 
And that’s what I dream of. I see myself as someone who’s meant to play a big part in bringing the entire industry of Love Coaching forward and I’d like my work to create the effect of Love Coaching being as normal, accepted and utilized as therapy. 
I think everyone needs a Love Coach and to do deep inner work around healing their love wounds so people everywhere can have enormously satisfying romantic relationships instead of the boring, toxic or unstable relationships that so many people, even the ones married for years, seem to find themselves a part of. 
In my work I always aim to promote a message that’s counterintuitive to what most people think and that is No, the right partner doesn’t just fall into your lap over time and it actually takes real inner work to attract the right person in and stay with them. 
In particular, my views and framework that I call “dating for growth” flip the script on how women traditionally think about dating. Most women view dating as a means to the end of being with their perfect partner for life and therefore tend to view any date or encounter that doesn’t result in the end goal of that person being “the one” as a failure. This means most dating women spend 99% of their time feeling like an absolute failure in love, hating dating and spinning their wheels in the process. 
I teach women to do the opposite and to not make finding the one the measure of success but to go on a hunt for growth with each interaction and use that as the measure of winning. 
This actually gets you to the right partner way faster and it’s a lot more fun.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

To me the most interesting thing that has happened to me came as a result of serving my clients and how that deepened my mission. 
What happened is my clients who I helped find their partner started having babies. 
Something in me viscerally changed when this first happened because I got to witness through social media and stories from my clients a version of motherhood and parenting strongly informed by a decision to put love first. 
I got to see that the work we teach, the love works method, extends so much farther beyond just the romantic relationship department. 
All of a sudden, my mission moved from just being about helping women create happy partnerships to something so much deeper …creating a sea change in how parents parent their children via helping the parents heal within, clear their fears to love and recognize how to communicate and show up with love in relationships. 
I see now that if this generation parents well and with love, the next generation, the children being born right now and raised right now are going to be far more full of self-worth than previous generations, far better to relate well in relationships and generally freer to focus on their own greatness, mission and passions without being held back by interpersonal drama like so many in my generation (millennial / cusp of gen x) have been.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

This is more of a fib story than a funny story, although I guess it can be funny to some people. 
When I first started my coaching business, I had limiting beliefs about being too young for anyone to take me seriously, so I rounded up my age. 
I remember being at a BNI meeting (business networkers international) and everyone seemed older and more established than me (and I have a youthful look anyway) so I would add a couple of years to my age whenever anyone asked. 
Now I look back and think this is so silly because honestly it’s not about someone’s age but their confidence level and knowledge of their subject matter that makes one be respected by others. 
Eventually I realized that this was silly and I decided to turn around the very thing I thought was a liability at the time, my age, to good. 
I had a lot of people say to me at the very beginning of my business “wow, how do you know so much and how are you so wise for being so young?” and I started using that as an asset. 
I would just announce right away during a webinar or live presentation what my age was and then say “and yes, I’m an old soul with a lot of wisdom to share.” 
The bottom line is, often what you perceive to be weaknesses or things others might use to judge you can be turned around to strengths and advantages when you make the decision to own it.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. In a nutshell, how would you define what a ‘Thought Leader’ is. How is a thought leader different than a typical leader? How is a thought leader different than an influencer?

A thought leader is an individual who leads and inspires a movement in the world via thinking that brings consciousness from where it is now to a higher level.

An influencer inspires and entertains. A thought leader might do these things as well but the key difference is the thought leader is directly inspiring forward action too. 
A thought leader is someone who makes it their mission to move an industry or society into specific action that is different than what’s normally been done.

Can you talk to our readers a bit about the benefits of becoming a thought leader. Why do you think it is worthwhile to invest resources and energy into this?

Being a thought leader brings so much valuable exposure to your brand or business. 
To me it brings a richness and deeper meaning to work to know that you’re not just doing it for the profits, you’re doing it to leave your mark on how things in this world are done and it’s amazing to know that what you say can have a positive ripple effect in so many other people’s lives. 
To me that’s the most amazing thing. To know that a thought that I put out there that’s been helpful to me or a new way of seeing or doing things actually has the power to transform someone’s life for the better, motivates me so much. Ideas really can change the world.

Let’s talk about business opportunities specifically. Can you share a few examples of how thought leadership can help a business grow or create lucrative opportunities?

Thought leadership can play a huge role in brand partnerships, sponsorships and JV opportunities. Big brands want to partner with thought leaders and know that the person they’re choosing to work with to promote their company is on the leading edge. 
In addition, if your business is a service-based business, thought leadership can be the unfair advantage that has people know for certain that they want to work with you. 
I can’t tell you how many times a potential customer comes our way and says “I follow a ton of other relationship coaches but I can just tell from your content that Love Works is different.” 
In service based businesses the client is often looking exactly for someone who will lead them out of their current situation / reality into a higher level of existence so when you demonstrate fully that you are a thought leader it makes it very easy for clients to self select themselves into your work rather than you having to convince anyone to work with you.

Ok. Now that we have that behind us, we’d love to hear your thoughts about how to eventually become a thought leader. Can you share 5 strategies that a person should implement to become known as a thought leader in their industry. Please tell us a story or example (ideally from your own experience) for each.

  1. Do your inner work first. 
    I spent years diving into deep inner work on a daily basis to understand the workings of my own mind and heart, particularly in the area of love and relationships. I would spend up to four hours a day meditating, journaling, reading spiritual texts, and generally trying to understand my own internal resistances to love, fears about love and limiting beliefs about love. I aimed for self mastery first so I could be of highest service to my clients and as a thought leader. I firmly believe that a big place where leading edge thought comes from is intuition or that small, still voice within that somehow has a sense of the larger picture. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been deep into a meditation or journaling session and all of a sudden new ideas and leading edge thoughts pop in that feel like me but also like they’re coming from a higher place and I rush to write them down. These thoughts often become the foundation for new content that’s fresh and original and takes my community father than I ever have before.
  2. Leverage Social Media with bold, inspiring quotes and captions.
    To become known as a thought leader you must create shareable content that other people just have to share with their friends because it’s something they haven’t heard before. 
    Make a list of the top 20 ways you think about your subject / industry differently than how it’s been done before and create content pieces to support each idea. Then share away all over social media.
    Years ago, I began posting leading edge love content within a very large facebook group that’s full of entrepreneurs. Nearly everyone was posting content designed to try and sell their coaching or services or business content. I started posting long form posts specifically designed to help entrepreneurial women find love by flipping the script on traditional dating advice like you have to play games or go by the “rules.” These were straight content posts with no pitch at the end but because the content was eye-catching and leading in thought, people really noticed. To this day, I regularly have clients come to me saying I first started following you years ago when you would post in this particular facebook group. 
    Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd and share something that’s outside of the box to what everyone else is posting. When your content is good enough, you really don’t even need to include pitches with it. People will come to you and find you for more content and eventually want to hire you.
  3. Publicly challenge industry norms (while being respectful and not calling anyone out, of course). 
    One of the fastest ways to become known as a thought leader is to have specific messaging on your website, on social media and whenever you speak in public that clearly indicates the difference between you and everyone else in your industry. 
    Every industry has norms and standards ways things have always been done or habitual ways people tend to think. Boldly proclaim whenever you speak exactly how your work is beyond these normas and people will really start to know you as a thought leader. 
    For instance in all of my webinars, live streams, talks or workshops, I would always introduce myself and share what sets me apart. Wording like “in my opinion, most love advice for women out there right now is geared towards getting insecure attachment style women to mistakenly believe they can trick or force an avoidant man to commit to them” makes people stop and think about the information they have previously been consuming and if there’s a better way. 
    I’m calling out what I see as the limitations within the current system of dating advice without name calling or focusing on any specific person or “competitor”. 
    I then go on to share my leading edge thoughts around using LOVE to attract the right person in, not fear based tactics. To me it’s still a little crazy that love is a revolutionary idea in dating, but I consider it my personal mission on the planet to help as many women as possible stop using bad and fear-based dating advice that doesn’t work (like don’t sleep with a man for 3 months to trick him into committing to you) and to approach their love lives from a completely different internal space grounded in love, not fear.
  4. Run every piece of messaging or selling from your company by this test: 
    Is what I’m / what the company is about to share bold enough, polarized enough and challenging enough that some people who see it would be triggered by it and pull away? 
    Boring messaging will never make you into a thought leader so if you want to be one, it’s best to let go of trying to please everyone with your message right away. 
    Thought leading messaging should piss some people off. You want unfollows or unsubscribes or even angry messages about your messaging sometimes. When this is happening, you know your messaging is hitting a nerve and the right people will be polarized to you while the wrong ones will look away. 
    When I first started my business, I was too much in people pleasing mode and as a result, my copy was flat and not capturing that much attention. 
    When I decided that my real truth and message was too important to be watered down, I started sharing what I really think and this is when I started to gain a super loyal following AND the negative comments also increased. 
    When I would stop playing nice and writing sugary sweet content about how you need to love yourself to find love, for instance, and starting being brutally honest and saying things like if you’re single, it’s not the fault of dating apps, or men, or the city you live in but YOU and your love life will only change when you change on the inside, the right people who are a fit for the deep inner work we share in our courses were polarized and the women who just wanted to complain about dating and be in victim mode left.
  5. Network. Network. Network.
    To become known as a thought leader you do have to be known. That means getting your name and face out to key players in your industry and connecting with a lot of people who you can potentially partner with, support, or who can share your message. 
    In all honesty, as a natural introvert I hate networking and would rather be on the couch with my husband. But, I realized that sitting at home is not good for business so I started attending as many business masterminds, conferences and networking events as I could. 
    My goal with each interaction at these events would be to be super present with each person in front of me and see how I can help them get what they want. 
    Naturally, the conversation would flow back to me and my business at some point, after I thoroughly asked a lot of questions about them and that’s where I would share my leading edge ideas and explain to them where I want to take the dating industry forward with my work. (see tip #3 above). 
    The great thing about my particular niche is that everyone loves to talk about dating and most people are actually super open with me about their love lives at networking events when I ask. 
    I realized there is such a tremendous value in just being in the room, letting your face be seen and your message be heard even if it’s just in small conversations with a few people. 
    You truly never know what connection from a networking event can turn out to be a needle mover for you and your message but if you network enough, eventually one or more of those connections will pay off big time. 
    To this day, I still have so many women who I met in masterminds or networking events years ago who share my content and promote me to their friends.

In your opinion, who is an example of someone who has that has done a fantastic job as a thought leader? Which specific things have impressed you about that person? What lessons can we learn from this person’s approach.

Brene Brown has done an absolutely incredible and remarkable job as a thought leader. 
What I’m most impressed about is the subject she chose to have thought leadership around “vulnerability” was one of the most dreaded and avoided subjects prior to her work on this, due to human nature and she completely turned it all around and made vulnerability into a good thing. 
And she did it in such a powerful yet gentle way. She didn’t try and force her ideas out into the world. She stood for them completely but she let the work speak for itself.

One lesson that we can learn from her approach is that approachability is such a key quality in a thought leader especially in today’s world. I think part of the reason why her work on vulnerability went so viral is because she’s just likeable and approachable and fiercely intelligent without being intimidating. 
I think the market really wants approachability in their leaders right now versus a model of perfection to aspire to.

Another lesson we can learn from Brene’s approach is to leverage media and pre-existing large audiences. Brene did the incredible thing of getting on to the main Ted talk stage and that’s when her thought leadership really took off. Now, not everyone can give a Ted talk but, there are so many opportunities to get in front of huge platforms right now and leverage their audience to spread your message. Consider partnering with a big social media influencer who has a large audience. Pitch yourself to press and TV because traditional media still works. Try and get re-tweeted by a famous person. There are so many ways to give your message wings by finding the right audience that someone else has already built and delivering a truly life-changing message to them.

I have seen some discussion that the term “thought leader” is trite, overused, and should be avoided. What is your feeling about this?

I don’t think the term should be avoided because it just works. Honestly, I think that if people believe the term is over-used then they should be a thought leader of the term “thought leader” and come up with a new one.

What advice would you give to other leaders to thrive and avoid burnout?

My advice is to really do the work to recognize what conditions produce the best thinking for you and be vigilant about taking care of yourself to make that happen. 
For instance, I know that when I haven’t slept enough, my brain is foggy and my thinking is not at its best. It’s unlikely that new thoughts will come when I have a tired mind so I really prioritize sleep because I know sleep is such a needle mover for me in terms of feeling better. 
Often thought leaders and driven women don’t take care of ourselves because self-care seems like another to do but there’s no clear measure for us to gauge what’s actually effective.

This comes down to self awareness and testing. Will a relaxing bath with a book rejuvenate you? Does working out do the trick? For a week, become aware of how you feel when you do various self care activities and which ones move the needle to make you feel more energized or rejevenated. 
Ignore the other activities and only focus on the ones that move the needle.

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

The movement I’d like to inspire and my biggest vision is getting a love curriculum into the hands of children. Just as children are taught about how to do math, how to read, even how to engage in physical exercise with gym class, I’d like to create a statewide love class curriculum that’s taught in elementary or middle school. 
Love relationships are arguable one of the biggest sources of pain for people on this planet right now and it’s because we’re simply never taught how to love well. 
We learn about love via modeling the relationship dynamic between our parents and also how they loved (or in most cases failed to love) us and unfortunately most people have learned poor dynamics that they perpetuate to this current day. 
I’d like to create a curriculum that teaches children how to communicate with love, how to forgive, how to show love to another person you care about, how to handle big or triggering emotions etc. so children have a foundation of knowing how to love that they can carry into their adulthood.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“There is nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so.” — Shakespeare 
I have thought about this quote so much over the years and it’s my go to in any situation where I’m tempted to make a snap judgment or perceive things in a negative light. 
This quote has been a constant reminder to question my thinking and to always seek to find the positive in any situation knowing that my perspective is what ultimately determines what I get out of life, not the situations themselves.

We are blessed that very prominent leaders in business and entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world with whom you would like to have a lunch or breakfast with? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂

Gwyneth Paltrow because if there’s one person in the entertainment world who has shown a clear understanding of the need to develop oneself in a love relationship, it’s her. She’s brought to the public awareness of the idea of “conscious uncoupling” during her divorce to Chris Martin and she’s been a pioneer in featuring in depth relationship content on Goop.

How can our readers follow you on social media?

Follow me on instagram at @nicolemoorelove, https://www.instagram.com/nicolemoorelove/

Follow me on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/nicolemooreloveworks

Find me on twitter at @nicolemoorelove

Thank you so much for your insights. This was very insightful and meaningful.

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