Recent studies show that happiness is a choice and that an optimistic attitude can be learned pretty fast. There isn’t a massive difference between happy guys and unhappy guys and although there might be genetical differences—some guys are just born happier—what’s even more important is that we can become happier through intentional actions and by changing our daily habits.
In the end, you can become happier if you do what happy guys do. So let’s look at five things happy men do differently.
1. Only measure your progress against yourself
Happy guys don’t fall into the useless habit of comparing. Comparison is the fast lane to unhappiness. They are really clear about the fact that there will always be somebody who is better than them at something, has more money, a fancier car, a bigger house.
They don’t envy successful people, they learn from them and concentrate on their own journey to success. They see that comparing is senseless and only makes them feel superior or inferior. Neither one is a good place to be.
Sometimes they might even get off social media for a while to not fall into the comparison trap. Studies show that social media play a significant part in making people envious and jealous.
2. Don’t fall into the competition trap
Happy guys don’t compete—at least not with other people— because competition can in many times be destructive. The only person they compete with is the person they were the day before. They focus on their strengths and on the person they want to become.
They have realized that life is not about beating others, but about being happy with oneself and working on continuous improvement of self. They are sure of themselves and their abilities and in consequence of that don’t feel the need to compete. They don’t need constant validation and have overcome the need to be better than others.
They are high self-esteem people who recognize their own potential and strive for excellence in everything they do. Personal growth is their game.
3. Stop whining, start doing!
Happy guys don’t complain and whine around because they understand that it’s a toxic habit that is absolutely useless and has no benefits whatsoever. They know that most of the people they complained to probably wouldn’t care anyway, and some might even be happy that they aren’t doing well.
Happy guys know that complaining and self-pity are not very attractive character traits, so instead of complaining, they look for solutions and ways to improve their situation.
They know that they are in charge, They don’t complain about their weight, they exercise. They don’t complain about not having time, they get up an hour earlier in the morning or work on their project after dinner. They take full responsibility for their lives instead of blaming their parents, bosses, the government or the economy for their troubles.
In short, they don’t blame outside factors for not having a satisfying life but walk boldly in the direction of the life they want.
4. Make extreme gratitude your #1 habit
Happy guys know that gratitude is probably the single most important ingredient of success. According to this 2017 study, expressing gratitude makes us healthier, happier and able to live longer.
Grateful people know about the incredible power of gratitude that brings them scientifically proven benefits in just a matter of weeks. Benefits like becoming happier, more optimistic, and more social. Better sleep, fewer headaches, and more energy. They know that gratitude will make them less prone to become depressed and feel less anxiety.
They know that when they are grateful for what they have, they will get more things that they can be grateful for. Those guys are so smart they are even grateful for the things they don’t have yet.
Even when they are going through a rough patch and it’s difficult to be grateful those guys find things to be grateful for, like their health, their friends, their family or simply being alive.
They start their day by saying “thank you” for what they have, instead of by complaining about what they don’t have or dreading what is to come. They focus on the things that are going right for them.
How? Easy! They simply write down three things they are grateful for every day and feel the gratitude with all their body and soul.
5. And last, but not least—don’t hold grudges. It’s bad for your health
According to a 2009 study published in the American College of Cardiology, anger and hostility are harmful to the heart, especially among men, and it can also lead to anxiety and depression. This is why you should forgive more and hold less grudges.
Happy guys forgive everyone! They know that holding grudges is toxic and that it’s hurting themselves more than anybody else. They are well aware that focusing on their past wounds could attract even more unpleasant experiences into their life. They also know that forgiveness is the antidote to bitterness and grudges and that it’s not only good for their relationships but also the fast-track to success and happiness.
For happy people it’s not it’s about you being well and not wasting energy. They know that it’s no fun to be around the complainers and bitter ones.
Happy people are smart. They forgive even if it was the other parties fault. They are doing it for themselves. They forgive because they know holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies from it.
Happy people forgive everybody are not stupid nor do they allow people to walk over them as they please. They set clear boundaries and put limits on other people’s behavior or call them out right on the spot. People who don’t accept their rules or hurt them have to go.
So. Now you know what happy guys do differently. If you are not already doing it, start practicing. Have patience and don’t give up after the first setback and in around a month your base level of happiness should have improved quite a bit. Go for it.
About Marc Reklau
I’m Marc Reklau. Four years ago I was unemployed, today more than 200,000 people read my books. I’ve gone from being jobless to becoming an international bestselling author. How? Habits. Changing my habits I changed my life.
When I started doing simple exercises over a period of time everything changed. It works kind of like compound interest. I write about habits, happiness, and productivity. Join me at www.goodhabitsacademy.com