Are you waiting sitting around binging a Netflix series, stuffing popcorn in your face and waiting for your soulmate to show up all dressed up with flowers and a box of chocolates ready to take you on the most magical date of your life?
Maybe you’re getting all cute before you go to work and seemingly strolling the streets but actually really aggressively looking for potential mates as you judge everyone walking past you…
Or maybe you are going out with the girls every Friday for Happy Hour and looking to ‘score one’ or maybe you’re talking about how much men ‘suck’, dating ‘sucks’ and you can’t figure out why someone wouldn’t be attracted to your awesomenesss.
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, I have been all three of these scenarios.
Although I am now happily married to my main squeeze Josh, I remember that being single was HARD. Sometimes it was lonely and sometimes it was fun! The rollercoaster ride of emotions is REAL. But often, at least for me and I know the clients I work with there is a sense of lack around not having a boyfriend or serious relationship and feeling like part of your life’s mission was to be in one. Not to avoid aloneness, but because you are destined to be in a partnership.
I remember what it was like going to those family functions ALONE and seeing all of your cousins all coupled up or going to that childhood friend’s wedding alone or with someone you barely knew (#totallydidthat) to avoid the unavoidable awkwardness.
Now we can go all feminist and talk about how it is okay to be alone and you don’t need a man and that’s ALL TRUE… but if you are someone who knows you are meant to be in a relationship and don’t understand why it isn’t happening for you right now… I am here to support you and share with you the 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Met My Soulmate.
Whoever your soulmate is… he is YOUR SOULMATE. No one else’s. He isn’t going to get snatched up by that girl with the resting b*tch face at the end of the bar forever. Maybe he is single right now or maybe he is in a relationship. But know this, he has a mind and emotions and a life path all of his own which is geared and tailored by the universe so that when you meet him (#divinetiming), both of you will recognize each other as your soulmate.
I know that if I met my husband 5 years earlier, it NEVER would’ve worked. Why? because I know I had to go through all of those experiences so that I was able to recognize him as my soulmate and allow myself to receive the love I deserved.
All the experiences you are going through right now is working out perfectly so that you can meet your soulmate. Even and especially when it doesn’t feel like it. Know that and know the same thing is happening for him too. So, have some faith! Divine timing and meeting your soulmate always makes a perfect story for the family and the kiddos down the road!
2. You Can’t Just Be Sitting And Watching The Bachelor ALL DAY!!!
I know, I know. You are probably not watching The Bachelor ALL day… but really… how often are you just watching The Bachelor or indulging in some other guilty pleasure shows (#GilmoreGirls), scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat dwelling in other people’s lives.
I am guilty of this too, but all this Facebook, Bachelor loving stuff can take us so far away from reality that we can have unrealistic expectation of our own lives. We may judge other’s endlessly and we may even start comparing ourselves to them and in turn feeling bad about ourselves, our inability to find love and happiness and then we just sit there, feeling paralyzed by our unworthiness and do nothing.
If you want to meet your man it is time to DO SOMETHING! And by doing something, I mean letting go of the comparing game and getting into the flow of love by doing something love-ly for YOU (not scroll through other people’s lives). It’s time for you to start feeling fueled and fulfilled by your own life. You are worth it and know that those Instagram posts are not people’s everyday reality either.
3. Stop Analyzing and Making MORE Drama!!!
I know you say you hate drama… but don’t you love a little gossip? Isn’t it a little fun to talk and analyze dates or exes and conversations and ‘Can you believe she wore that?’ for hours and hours on the phone? I thought so!
But I am here to tell you to STOP THE GOSSIP! STOP THE ANALYZING!
Why? Because it shouldn’t be that hard! Does he or doesn’t he like me shouldn’t be such a hard question to answer! If the answer isn’t clear to you- don’t stop and analyze it for hours and hours, keep it moving until you ‘know’ or have a thought to take an inspired action.
It’s so cliche but it’s so true… When you meet “the one” you will know.
I remember when I was younger and dating someone I thought could’ve been ‘the one’ and talking to my friend and saying “How do you know? What is like to know? I am so indecisive I will never know!” We came up with all of these creative solutions around this in our early 20-something brains… but until I met ‘the one’ I had no idea. I couldn’t have understood at that time because I was in ‘the one’ relationship. And as it happened, I had dreams telling me it was the wrong relationship and I just didn’t want to listen. So, less drama, more intuition…got it?? Good!
4. Stop Trying SO HARD!!!
OMG! I totally wished I knew this when I was single. I remember saying that I liked certain things and I would become an expert in concepts that I was SO uninterested in just so I could keep a guy’s attention. Most of us have been there in some way but here is the deal… most of us have it ALL WRONG! We think that we have to refine and perfect ourselves for our partner. But the reality is that we just have to be unapologetically ourselves! When you are your most authentic self, say your truth express your interests and treat your date with honesty and respect, it will be SO easy to figure out who is and isn’t ‘the one’ for you! Stop pretending you love football if you don’t. When you are thinking about your life partner, you want someone who wants YOU! ALL OF YOU! Be yourself FOR YOU and I promise the rest will fall into place. I mean really, can you imagine having to pretend to be someone else for the rest of your life? UGH! That would be awful!
I remember when I was dating Josh and I said to my friend, “I had no idea it could be SO easy!” There was no pretending, no game playing just two people honestly falling in love with each other. Why? Because we were both ourselves and in that we were able to align with love and let our relationship form naturally.
5. BE EXCITED– It Could Happen Anywhere, Any Time
Now, I don’t mean you should sleep in your makeup and have chocolate chip cookies baking in your oven 24/7. That’s sooo 1950s. What I do mean is that in your body, in your soul, own the energetic space of “OMG! Wouldn’t it be nice if today was the day I met my soulmate? Wouldn’t it be so amazing if I stand next to him in line at Starbuck’s?”
Carry with you the energy of ‘Wow it could happen today’ but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t. Allow the ‘suspense’ of not knowing when or how it is going to happen to fuel your excitement, not anxiety. Say to yourself, “I am just happy to wake up and experience another day of the journey of life!” If you don’t meet him today, it just means it isn’t the right time yet AND you’re one day closer to meeting ‘the one’. He may have a few things to work on and experiences to go through before meeting you and so could you!
I never thought in a million years that I would meet my husband while I was going through a family crisis. But during that time, I made a decision to put myself out there and *BOOM* it happened! And I know that it could totally *BOOM *and happen for you too.
Trust it, know it, believe it and have faith. If you are someone who desires a relationship and to meet your soulmate, you will! I know it! But in the mean time give yourself a big hug, be unapologetically yourself, let go of the drama and GET EXCITED because it could just happen today.