Community//

5 Things I Learn Starting Over In My 30’s

38 years goes by in a wink…

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Then one day you wake up, get an 8 am text from your boss. Ok, not too out of the ordinary.

She asks you to hop on a zoom at 830 am. Ok, a little odd but not too out of the ordinary.

You get on the call, see her face, and then the face of a woman from HR. Ok, now things are getting weird.

In these “unprecedented times….” “it’s not you, it’s a restructure…..” is not uncommon, not (really) surprising, and still being let go does not feel nice. In fact, feels sad and scary, and sad (did I say that)?

I worked for the same company for 8 years and then one day, I was done.

I was GOOD at my job(s), took on new tasks, was easy to work with, knew my sh*t, all that. And yet still I was restructured out. Girl, bye.

In the middle of pandemic, with two kids, I know I am not alone.

And I also know I am wildly fortunate to have a partner who’s successful in his career, not have to worry about rent, and still get myself an IvyPark windbreaker.

This isn’t about me though. It’s about us. Anyone who has started over or is about to start over in their 30s.

Here’s what I know to be true (shout out Oprah for those wise words) about starting over.

Feel the Feels

You need to feel the feelings before you can move on. Take a beat, be in the feelings. If you can, see where you feel it in your body or say the emotion you’re feeling out loud (shout out to somatic healer Erica Otto for getting me to notice where I feel emotions in my body). However, you do it, acknowledging it helps to take the charge and shame out of it. And more importantly, it helps realize the mark you made. That you do matter.

There’s a Catch, and It’s a Good One

The catch is, this isn’t a sad story, this is a story of resilience. Hire a career coach if you can, talk to yourself, talk to a trusted friend or family member, talk to a somatic therapist, talk to me. Talk about you, your needs, your wants. What is it that you’d love to do? What skills come so easy to you? What brings you joy? How can you do can you combine your talents, skills and passion with action? Name one thing you can do today.

Start Over, Own It

My fave thing about Real Housewives of ATL is that these powerhouse women are entrepreneurs with my fave new term “multiple income streams”. They have an idea, start a business, and then get to work building it and building their empire. So find something you want to do and do it, go all in. If the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else (I have never said that before but felt right here….) then the only way to get over a job loss is to get into another one.

Pick It and Stick It

Personally, after my job ended, after feeling the feelings, and talking it through I realized what I love most is storytelling. So here I am, telling you a story (see — anything is possible). I also started a freelance copywriting and consumer marketing business and within DAYS of the launch had my first client.

In my life, I have been a gas station attendant, farmer, pizza delivery person, server, banker, assistant, nutritionist, small business owner, manager, sleep consultant, educator, content creator and now I’m a freelance writer. It’s not a linear path, it’s mine. And yours will be so uniquely you, which is what makes it beautiful and impactful.

I know this is a global pandemic and “just doing what you want” seems so frivolous, but that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that you CAN start over. Find what brings you joy, find a way to do that, then… get to doing it.

You’re not too old. It’s not too late. And there are so many more possibilities out there for you. When in doubt, try to remember these wise word from Alex Toussaint of Peloton during a recent Beyonce ride.

“I am, I can, I will, I do.”

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