Well-Being//

5 Subtle Signs That You Might Be In A Toxic Relationship

They’re more common than you think.


Toxicity can infiltrate relationships in various forms, some being more apparent than others. While certain behaviors, such as overt physical or emotional abuse are clear indicators of a toxic relationship, other subtler signs can be commonly missed.

So how can you tell if your relationship is becoming toxic?

While no relationship is perfect, these five behaviors are some red flags, which could indicate a need to re-examine your relationship.

1. Blaming

It’s important to be mindful of whether your partner is often blaming or accusing you for their shortcomings. For instance, are they often unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions? Do they blame you for their behavior by saying things like: “You didn’t remind me,” “It’s your fault” or “Why didn’t you let me know?”

2. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation. If your partner frequently causes you to second-guess yourself, that is a form of psychological manipulation. This behavior causes you to view yourself as weak and you will likely begin to doubt your perception of reality. If this occurs long enough, you may begin to accept your partner’s reality as truth.

3. Discounting

Discounting occurs if you share your concerns about your partner’s behavior and they dismiss those feelings. They might respond to your concerns by saying things like: “I didn’t mean it like that,” or “You’re too sensitive.” Their inability to accept responsibility for their actions and apologize will leave you feeling invalidated.

4. Undermining

Your partner minimizes your interests, feelings, values, or profession and doesn’t recognize your accomplishments. You are often left feeling belittled and like you are “not enough.”

5. Distorting

For instance, when discussing situations, your partner is always the victim. They will distort the scenario and will conclude that it was your behavior which resulted in them feeling hurt. They will discount your perspective, and may leave you feeling like the “bad guy.”

The above signs are not directly synonymous with emotional abuse, however they should be seen as warning signs that your relationship may be headed in an unhealthy direction.

The Bottom Line

If these warning signs resonate with you, it’s important to reach out for help and support from a friend, family member, or treatment professional.

It is important to know that your feelings and beliefs should be respected and acknowledged by your partner. If you feel unable or unsafe to share your feelings with your partner, it may be time to evaluate your relationship and whether it is fully meeting your needs.

Your partner may not always agree with you, but should always be willing to listen, be open for discussion, and available for emotional support.

Originally published at medium.com

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Westend61/Getty Images
Well-Being//

Owning Your Part in a Toxic Relationship

by Talkspace
Community//

What Is Gaslighting?

by Talkspace
Community//

5 Signs That Indicates You Are In A Gaslighting Relationship and How to Overcome That

by Arun Lohia

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.