How do we start to live as our authentic selves and create the impact we want in the world?
How exactly do we become lost or disconnected from ourselves to the point where we feel completely stuck and uninspired in life.
I hear this time and time again especially from women heading into the middle part of life. They just feel like they have no purpose and no joy in their life. Like they are just going through the motions. I call this “Living on the hamster wheel.”
I believe a big part is we spend so much time, sometimes years taking care of other people, putting everyone else first at the cost of our happiness and health.
Most of this is expected of us from our family, significant others, and also society in general. Women are expected to be the perfect caretaker, mom, wife, friend, employee, and business owner. We are also expected to do this while looking and acting a certain way, thin, young, and beautiful. If I have to hear about one more anti-aging tip I’m just going to scream. What the heck is so wrong with being older if you feel great? I feel freaking great!
The good news is that we are free to do what we want. We don’t have to do any of these things. It’s a choice we make and it’s all about setting healthy and strong boundaries and maintaining them.
However, this is a whole other topic for a whole other blog post.
Right now we are going to talk about how to reconnect with ourselves and find our purpose again and just be happy!
Here are 5 tips to get a powerful start!
1.Start to pay attention to how you feel about the things you do throughout the day. Does it bring you joy or does it seem to drain you? Is it something you look forward to or is it soul-sucking? Are you doing it because you want to or out of obligation? These are some of the signs that we learn to ignore through the years. Some of us even believe that we have to suffer and work really hard in order to experience little bits of joy along the way. Actually, it is and should be the exact opposite. We are here to be happy in our life and experience joy. Yes, we do have to do some work along the way but usually, if we truly love what we’re working towards that work can be very rewarding. This is the sweet spot we are looking for and is available to all of us. Start to pay attention to your intuition and follow it. Keep a journal of some of the things you enjoy..take notes of the good stuff. Then add more of that stuff into your daily life because your well-being depends on it.
2.Pay extra attention to the language you use. The specific wording that you use when you’re doing something. Do you say things like I have to, I should, do you feel obligated to do something and if you don’t there will be some sort of negative outcome towards you. Someone will be mad, upset, disappointed? No more of this crap. When you find yourself in a situation like this I want you to ask yourself, Do I have to do this myself, can it be delegated, and can it be ditched altogether. Then ask, what boundaries do I have to set to avoid this situation in the first place? This is a great way to see how much stuff you do that you hate and how much you actually enjoy. When you ditch the things you shouldn’t be doing it makes more space for the things that bring you joy from Step #1.
3.Where are you in flow? You might say, “I don’t know Tina, how do I know I’m in flow?” Maybe it’s been a while since you felt flowy in any way.
A great way to know you’re in flow is that you have no sense of time. When you’re doing something you lose track of time. Time either flies by or stands still..in a good way. You also might not have many thoughts going through your mind. Maybe it feels clear and you are just right in that moment. This is how I feel when I run and also when I’m gardening. In that same journal or notebook from Step #1 write down when you are feeling in flow. Start to add more of this goodness into your daily life.
4.Start telling yourself the truth. This was a biggy for me. Stop just agreeing to where to go for dinner, what movie to watch, just to be easygoing or to please someone else.
When someone asks you where or what you want for dinner, tell the truth, your opinion matters, and whoever is asking you for it wants to hear it. Also, when you say you’re going to do something for yourself. Eat well, exercise, spend time with a friend, stick with what you tell yourself. Stay in integrity with yourself. Respect yourself and others will respect you too. Being honest and keeping the promises you make to yourself is a form of self-love and keeps you in touch with who you are deep down. Your authentic self.
5.Find your tribe. When you start to get in touch with the things you really enjoy and start to surround yourself with people who like the same things.
This might be a challenge. You could have spent 10 years doing things out of obligation, things you didn’t really love to do. So now you might be surrounded by people that you have absolutely nothing in common with. People who you are afraid to be your true self around.
I’m not saying ditch all your friends and family. Just make sure you have a tribe of people around you that support who you truly are and love you. If they don’t, start to surround yourself with people who do. This step is very important so don’t skip it. Having a community of people around you that love and support you is a basic human need like food and shelter. We all need it and we all have to create this for ourselves by being exactly who we are, by being our authentic self! So let your freak flag fly and just be yourself. I’m telling you, it’s so much easier than trying to be someone else!
This is just the basic beginning of reconnecting with yourself and living your life full of purpose. So do the steps, don’t wait, the time is now to live your life to the fullest.
Let’s review the steps:
- Pay attention to your intuition.
- No more shoulds or have-to’s.
- Find your flow.
- Tell the truth.
- Find your tribe
Tina is a certified professional life coach, life purpose coach who works closely with women to help them get unstuck and live with purpose and impact.
For more help on this topic, grab the free guide right here>>https://www.tinastinson.com/the-ultimate-guide-to-rocking-your-second-half
Lots of love
Xo, T