Negativity is the thin line that lies between silence as golden and as a mere glittering abstraction. In relationships, silence always occupies the position of relativity. It depends on scenarios to either make or mar any relationship.
Few people love the gold in silence but indifferent in their judgments when they appear at the receiving end. How would you feel if you walk into your office on a Monday morning, say hi to your colleague, only for him to respond in silence?
Well, I doubt if you’ll be cool with that. I believe you’ll want to throw in the second card to check if the first had breezed out unawares. Meanwhile, a simple “hi” spiced with a smile could make the day more productive.
Silence comes with lots of advantages -it enhances creativity, heightens sensitivity, fosters listening, and host of others. None of these is possible if the mind is unrest. Imagine, how a settled mind can concentrate when he grudges with a colleague. Is it possible to progress work when team members refuse to contribute –non-contribution is better when members don’t know what to say but worse when they know but refuse to talk.
Sometimes silence could be deadly. When the communication bridge is broken, the trauma of unreasonable assumptions could lead to a drastic step -suicide in some cases. We see this in movies all the time.
But interestingly, breaking that silence is imperative for peak performance -when the mind is eased, you sleep well, eat healthily, and communicate better. It is typically an inside-out experience.
According to the National Sleep Foundation, most adults have experience sleeplessness due to worry and nervousness. Once these factors are out, the number of sleepless adults drop.
How do you break that silence and connect with love?
About a year ago, a new employee joined our organization, my department to be precise. He’s excellent and hardworking we quickly got along because of the compatibility. We would have not less than a 30minutes conversation on the phone every day, visit repeatedly every weekend and share ideas and thoughts about work, family, and life generally.
All of a sudden, he traveled for two weeks to finish up a project, and he never spoke to me again -he ignored my calls, didn’t return my chats and even denied me an invite to an important event.
This made me feel bad and heartbroken. It affected my performance at home and at work -I couldn’t sleep well nor participate fully in meetings, always lost at important points, I couldn’t communicate well in his presence and my boss could easily tell my performance is plummeting.
I was mad at myself for weeks and my ego entrapped me to breaking the silence. An office spouse melted the ego with wonderful words, and I broke the silence.
Ever since I had lived happily without him and my performance had tripled. We’re still friends, in fact, bosom friends but a sweet clear line was drawn.
How can you achieve this too?
1. Backtrace your steps
Don’t over assume. As much as possible, trace back your conversation and action steps with the person to find out where you may have gone wrong. The aim is to prepare your mind towards the unknown and start up a conversation from an apt perspective.
2. Make excuses for both parties
It’ll be wrong to think you’ve done nothing wrong to deserve the unwarranted silence you’re getting from your friend. You may have slipped and not know it. Light words or actions may vex other people -we’re wired differently.
So make excuses for the other person. Realize that no one is perfectly created. Wipe out all emotional attributes and try to be realistic as possible.
Forgive yourself -you should also take a blame for the communication delay too. Remember that forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. Waive every negative feeling and approach your friend with a plain and accepting mind. This helps you fight insomnia, relieves stress and stimulates thinking.
Who knows? Your friend might adopt silence because he feels that’s the best tool for emotional stability. For him, silence might be the last resort. Sometimes, ego or avoiding confrontation might be the cause. Calmness and show of listening ability could be essential to better understanding the other person.
5. Break the silence — talk softly
Establish the right moment to break the silence. Talk softly, enquire the reason for your cut in communication. Walk this process with empathy, embrace each other’s differences — apologize if necessary and move on with clear minds.
It’ll be amazing if you change your perception of the world and love. Give and expect nothing in return. Sometimes, it’s okay when things aren’t okay.