Every person has fallen in love with the wrong person at least once in their lives, and honestly, that’s okay. Falling in love with the wrong person may hurt you, but it also helps you be wiser and smarter, and most importantly, helps you understand what you DON’T want in your partner. However, if you notice that you are repeatedly falling in love with people who never love you back, then that’s a cause for concern.
If you find yourself getting attracted to people who never reciprocate your love, then maybe you need to take a minute and think about why this keeps on happening. Everybody is deserving of true love, and so are you. So what is it that you are doing wrong?
5 Reasons Why You Keep Falling In Love With The Wrong People
1. You are impulsive when it comes to love.
You look around and see everyone in stable relationships or marriages. All of them seem so happy and lucky to have each other, and the love they share makes you wish that you also had that in your life. Even though you feel happy for them, it sometimes makes you feel lonely and unloved.
This makes you rush into relationships with people who might not be looking for anything serious, but your impulsivity stops you from seeing that. You get so stubborn looking for love, you end up falling for the wrong people. Love can never be rushed, nor can it be forced. You need to be patient if you want true love in your life. Love will come to you when you will be ready. And most importantly, it will come to you when you least expect it.
2. You are waiting for the wrong person to change.
Deep, down inside you know that the person you are in a relationship with is never going to change, yet you keep on convincing yourself that it will all be worth it in the long run. Optimism is a good quality to have, but there is a difference between being optimistic and delusional.
Love should not be about changing each other, nor should it be about making sure that your partner is exactly like you. If you cannot accept them for the way they are, then you are with them for the wrong reasons. On the other hand, the negative things that bother and hurt you about them, if they don’t respect you enough to want to work on themselves and change that, then you are simply not important to them.
You have to think about whether their strengths are overshadowing their flaws or is it the other way around, and if you can live with it or not. But always remember that trying to change someone for the sake of love, is not love.
3. You don’t love yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, nobody else will. Sounds harsh, but that’s the truth. Unless you love yourself and accept yourself for who you are, you will never get the love you are hoping for. Unless you confront your demons and heal your emotional wounds, you cannot hope to love someone the right way.
When you are emotionally wounded, and are afraid of confronting your pain, you are actually making it worse. Avoiding your pain or burying it is never going to make you feel better. You will keep on falling in love with the wrong people because you are depending on them to make you feel better. You hope that they will give you the love you are unable to give yourself. But that’s not how love works, does it?
You need to love and respect yourself first for someone else to feel the same for you. Only then will you get the love you have been searching for, for your whole life.
4. You are afraid of being alone.
Getting into a relationship because you feel alone is probably one of the biggest mistakes you can ever make when it comes to finding love. True love can never stem out of desperation or the fear of being alone. Getting into a relationship just because everyone else is, is never the right reason, and will only make you feel more alone later.
This need for attention, and wanting someone to shower you with affection and love all the time, so that you feel a little less alone, might help in the short-term, but it’s just a matter of time before the illusion breaks, and you are forced to confront reality. Settling for less than what you deserve will cause you more pain, and by the time you realize this, you will be left with a broken heart.
Being alone is not a bad thing, rather it can help you introspect and get some clarity as to what kind of person you are, and what kind of a person you want to be with. It can also help you understand love a lot better. Solitude is a valuable treasure, which must never be treated as a curse.
5. You are still holding onto the past.
Rebound relationships might sound fun on paper, but then you are always at a risk of falling for the person and they might not. It’s really not a good idea to get into a new relationship, in order to move on from a previous one. You might feel good for a few days, but after a point all of the unresolved issues are going to catch up with you.
You will keep on falling in love with the wrong people, until you work on yourself and your issues. It might start off as a rebound relationship, and before you know it, you have fallen for them, but unfortunately, they have not. It’s very important to recover from a relationship, make your peace with it, move on, and then get involved with someone else.
Love should never be forced, nor can it be rushed. Getting into a relationship just for the sake of it will only bring you more pain in the long run. Wait for the right person to come along, and wait for love to find you, and trust me, it will find you when you least expect it.