Before I sat in front of the room full of women at the first ‘Space for Your Best Self’ workshop Debra (my ego) was in FULL FORCE! She whispered her doubts and fears at me in the hope that she would convince me to step back, cancel and spare myself from possible embarrassment and failure.
Debra knows my doubts and fears well. She knows what’s kept me “safe” all these years and she’s especially fond of playing it safe in the shadows where no one can see her. That’s where Debra thrives. When she blends in and conforms with what everyone else is doing. That’s when Debra is happiest.
My Best Self though? Ain’t got time for Debra. My Best Self wants to serve, she wants to be seen and heard. She wants to empower and inspire and in order for her to show through, Debra needs to quieten the f* down.
When I sat in front of that room after deep breaths and a little dialogue with my Best Self, Debra melted away. She wasn’t present for one minute during the four-hour workshop. My Best Self flowed through as I hoped she would. She flowed through and shared her message for the purpose of serving the beautiful women there.
It wasn’t easy to quieten Debra, she’s loud, annoying and stubborn, but I did my best to see past her and focus on what I was there to do and how I wanted to feel. I made her shh with my intention to be bigger and bolder than she is, to shine brighter than her and to flow with service for others rather than service for her (ego).
We all have the power to quieten our ego. It takes practice but it is possible. Every day Debra gets a little quieter. She’s still there, but not nearly as loud. My Best Self is getting louder and more confident and so can yours!
If your ego is loud and annoying and you’re looking to quieten her/him down, here are the key things I do to quieten Debra and empower myself to shine brighter than her. I hope they help you as much as they help me!
1 – Journal – understand why your ego is being so loud
Ask yourself why this fear and doubt is showing up? What is your ego scared of? What is your ego protecting you from?
When you become aware of why this is coming up then you can acknowledge it and counter it with reality and intent of what your Best Self WANTS instead of your ego.
2 – Focus on Your Purpose and Intention
Why do you want to do the thing? Why is it important for you to do it? Why is it important to others? How will it serve others?
When you can focus on your purpose you can tell your ego that the fears and doubts WON’T stop you from moving forward. You can show bravery and courage because your why and purpose is too strong for your ego to control.
3 – Meditate or Practice Mindfulness
Meditation or mindfulness can bring you back to the present. Your ego is causing you anxiety and worry for something that hasn’t even happened yet. You haven’t actually embarrassed yourself or failed, yet your ego makes you feel as if you are already going through it.
Using meditation or mindfulness will bring you back to now and bring you the peace and calm so you can kick butt! Focus on your purpose and intent and how YOU WANT to feel.
4 – Have a Cheerleader
Have someone close to you that will listen to you as your ego talks, BUT they will not let you fall into your ego’s clutches. They will remind you of your purpose, your power, and your intention. They will bring you back to the present and remind you that YOU GOT THIS!
5 – Prepare and DO IT!
Last but not least – DO IT! Prepare your talking points, your intention, and your vision, then get on and do it. Don’t hesitate waiting for perfection or for everything to be just right – that’s your ego.
Your Best Self is fully prepared. She knows what she wants to say and do, so give her the space to do it. Trust. Do. That’s it.
I hope these keys help you! Let me know if they do! If you have different ones that you use and live by, please share them in the comments or flick me a message via my website or on Instagram! I’m always looking for different ways to manage Debra 😉