A significant part of my coaching practice deals with all kinds of fears. The reason is simple; if the fear is running your life, you’ll not find inner peace and happiness. The inner peace will show up in fleeting moments just to be replaced with the next fearful thought.
The fear I refer to is any thought or emotion based on limiting beliefs, ego, illusions, and has nothing to do with the real state of things. One way to know with certainty that what you experience is fear is to observe your emotions. Any tension and negative emotion is a clear sign that the fear is present in your life.
In 2011, I was stuck in a fear-town. I was studying a major just out of fear that later I’d not find a paying job if I’d become a life coach. Although I liked studying business, it wasn’t my life calling. I was also staying longer-than-necessary in a relationship because I was scared to end it as the first one. A good girl shouldn’t leave the man, right? Even if she isn’t happy.
I was scared allowing myself to do what I loved the most – writing and helping people. It reached a point when I felt completely stuck and was panic afraid that it would never change. The longer I stayed in that place, the more real it felt and the less power I had to change it. Until the universe intervened and turned my life upside down to force me deal with my fears.
It doesn’t have to get so dramatic for you. But each time, we allow our fear to run our lives there is a price to pay.
A prevalent price we pay for staying in a fear-town is being unhappy, feeling that we waste our lives, moodiness, experiencing unnecessary drama, or the worse of all, feeling empty and resigned.
Everyone experiences fear. Therefore, we become blind to see the ways it holds its grip on us.
Luckily, there are many ways you can learn to let go of your fear. They all take the willingness to take charge of your life thus not everyone is willing to do it. But anyone can change their situation.
When you learn how to deal with your fears, it’ll not make them disappear all at once. It’s a process, and I believe as long as we’re alive, we’ll always have some fears. But you can learn to become the CEO of your mind and train yourself to observe them and then release them without getting yourself involved in the fear-based stories and let them rule your life.
The first step is to become mindful of your fears. This is something that you can practice and become an observer of what is going on in your mind.
You’ll notice that after an argument, you’ll realize why you acted with anger. You’ll understand that deep behind your words was a hidden fear that made you say what you did.
Later, you’ll catch yourself during the argument. And with more practice, you’ll be able to see where the situation would go and how the fear wants to push you into saying cruel words. Moreover, you’ll become alert of other people’s fear and you’ll begin to read their true motives. Thus, you’ll set yourself freer out of reacting to situations.
Of course, meditation helps to become an observer of your mind. If you want to speed up the whole process a lot, you can also find some specialist you’d help you. We all have some areas which we’re not willing to give up and where the fears keep us stuck. For many, it’s the area of romantic relationships and money or both. It helps to have someone you can trust who guides you and help you see the connection and give you the tools to change it.
You can download a FREE printable guidebook with 7 questions to help you find your life purpose.
Originally published at sylviasalow.com