You know that agonizing feeling you have when you wanted to tell someone something, right then. . .right there? A way, where you wanted to inform them, face-to-face, that their actions and behaviors were not only inappropriate, but disrespectful. Those times when a fellow co-worker, felt they had the right to demean you in that office meeting, mistreat you, disrespect, or instigate lies and rumors against you in the workplace. Oh how you wanted to tell them something right then and there. You wanted to express to them that is was not alright, and inform them that what was said or done, was not alright.
Right then and there, you had the opportunity. And then. . . sizzle, sizzle, your courage fizzles away like a can of Sprite, after it has been sitting in a cup for a while. What happened? Was it the fear of being deemed unprofessional for standing up for yourself in the workplace? You wanted to keep a calm demeanor, and look like a champion for handling yourself with professionalism, decorum, and reputable attributes; showcasing you as a good employee. As long as you are quiet, play your role, and do your work, you can ignore the silly and silent aggressive behaviors occurring in the office work place. Right? Hmm. Not quite.
So, little by little, your irritations and anger are chipping away at your psyche. You cannot take it anymore. And, quite frankly. . .you shouldn’t. Yet, what are you to do? For months, you have been getting great feedback from management. Your work is top notch. You’re approachable. Plus, you have been called to give feedback on some of those top notch projects, taking place at the company. Soon, you will get that e-mail asking you to come in for a meeting with the top management. Umm. . . The excitement continues to play. BUT, you are tired. One or a few colleagues are trying your patience. Word is getting around that you are a push over, at the office. And, your emotions are starting to bubble.
For you, Sir and Madame, it is time to put your foot down. And, not in the literal sense. What must be done is one thing, and one thing only. That is to. . .are you ready for it? SPEAK OUT! That doesn’t mean that you have to shout. It doesn’t mean that you and that rude colleague (or colleagues, however many of them there are) are going to hold a local box match, sell tickets, and duke it out at the local gym. We don’t have to go through such extremes. What it does mean is that no longer will you. . .hold your emotions in. You are tired of that. You’ve been tired of it. Yet, you thought it was inappropriate to address the issue at work. Newsflash! At work is the perfect time to address condescending, and slandering behavior from colleagues. It should be corrected, immediately, with professionalism. Right then. Remember, management is not just examining your performance. They are also observing how you are able to stand up for yourself, and what you have contributed. A leader. Someone who can professionally CHECK one of the colleagues, during one of those meetings, where jealousy decides they want to make side comments, or paint you in an unseen light.
It is very difficult in standing up to bullies in the workplace; if you have not gotten the practice to do. So, do just that. Practice! Get used to hearing your thoughts out loud. When you are in your room, your office cubicle (when no one is around), speak your anger, and thoughts. Hear them. Experience them. Feel the richness in what you feel. Feel what it means to give life to your own experiences. Feel the life within them because it means that they are REAL! Allow yourself to feel the toxicity which has been directed towards you. Feel it because it gives rise to your anger. And, when you are angry, it means that something needs to come out. That words need to be used to pour out the toxicity. To purge it out. Soothing it out from your sensory, because it causes madness in your interior. Practice it until it is no longer there. Purge it until you are comfortable in experiencing the process of releasing negative energy from your Being. In a space that is of your own. In your personal place, where it is only you and your words. Use whatever vocabulary of your choosing. Whatever represents and colors that released energy.
And when you are done, then can you address such colleagues head on.
Once you are ready to return the energy blown your way, it is you who will direct those emotions. They will not control you.
You walk up towards envious colleagues, and let them know that it is not ok to speak to you in the way that they have. When they get into one of their instigating behaviors, immediately, you speak on it. You can be calm about it. It’s not about creating a scene. Ooops! Did you hear two pens drop? During that office meeting, another disrespectful, side comment is blown towards you. Don’t ignore it. Whomever put it on the table, allowed you to wipe it, clean. By cleaning the tables, you take charge over the spilled mess. Once it is cleaned, you hand the napkin back to them. In this regard, you are the one who comes out on top. After getting that feel good victory, you wonder why you didn’t do it earlier. No longer entrapped by publicly correcting someone, when they demeaned you. . .in public.