Do you find yourself feeling frustrated at how life is unfolding? It’s understandable. There’s a lot going on no matter where you live. On top of that, 78% of people in the United States alone live paycheck to paycheck (source: FORBES) and let’s not even talk about the divorce rate.
All we want for the most part is to be loved and acknowledged. Speaking from experience and dealing with a lot of different personality types, my goal is often just keeping my peace.
So why are we not peaceful? Could it be a lack of community? Diet? Not enough likes on that photo you posted that you were sure would go viral? Forgot to meditate this morning?
That’s not important. What’s important is that we as a society are unhappy and in a society that has found a way to market and promote fear and chaos there are things we can do about it. (Side note: If you have Netflix, watch a documentary called “Happy”, that dives into the psychology of happiness).
No matter if it’s your job, your boss, your relationship or your overall life, here are some simple things I have found help me keep my happiness and more so my peace:
DO NOT REACT.
Reacting in the immediate moment to an upsetting situation can lead to complications. Our reacting with temporary emotions that will pass may lead to permanent results we will regret down the road, and regret, guilt, and shame are three of the most harmful feelings in regards to our happiness.
INSTEAD, TRY THIS:
Why is this person speaking to me this way? Are they having a bad day and I just happen to be the closest person nearby they feel they can let out toxic energy?
Why is this car not moving in traffic? Could it be there’s something going on that I cannot see?
Why do I find myself in situations that are disempowering? Is there a weird belief subconsciously that no longer serves me?
Curiosity is one of the biggest things that completely changed my life. I have often operated from a place of victimhood or abandonment, and when I started getting curious to my reactions and the reactions of others around me, I started finding peace and evolution.
Remind yourself of accomplishments and great things about yourself
DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE TAKE AWAY YOUR POWER!
Some of us grew up being abused verbally and mentally, which created unhealthy beliefs, which has us see through a lens of being unloved, unappreciated and a victim. Yikes.
INSTEAD, TRY THIS
Don’t roll your eyes, it works! I don’t care if you have 2 cents in your bank account, have crooked teeth, one pair of pants and a lazy eye with a mole right on your nose. If you are a good person, if you are healthy, if you are loved, if you have feelings and emotions, if you have traveled outside of your neighborhood, if you have ever known what it’s like to feel loved, you are rich.
DO NOT BLAME ANYONE FOR ANYTHING
This is a hard one because it can seem like someone else is to blame for why our expectations fall short.
INSTEAD, TRY THIS:
This is a very challenging one. It requires patience, deep breathing and being evolved. Trust me. It doesn’t matter if “they started it”, if they said something that hurt your feelings or if everyone in the world is against you.
This was the most powerful realization in my life. When I was able to see the choices I made and how it impacted my life, other people’s lives and the overall life I was living. I wasn’t speaking up when someone would say something hurtful. I would not call them out. I would not give myself space or take time to process my feelings. I spoke in a way that devalued myself, my worth and my sense of peace.
I can almost guarantee you will fall back into old patterns after reading this, which is okay because your brain is hard-wired to do so. If you can give yourself the time, patience and decide to love yourself and value yourself that much more, you will find peace, joy and a better life.
**One last simple bonus tool if all else fails and you feel those familiar unwanted emotions coming, ask yourself this question:
DO I WANT TO BE RIGHT, OR DO I WANT TO BE HAPPY?
Now go be joyful (and be kind to yourself)!
Thank you for being who you are.