Bestselling authors; Jordan Peterson, Jen Sincero, Mark Divine and Brad Gilbert share their four favorite success tips. Here they are…
1. Treat yourself the way you treat your dog (assuming you’re not some animal-abusing psycho)
“People appear to love their dogs, cats, ferrets, and birds (and maybe even their lizards) more than themselves. How horrible is that? How much shame must exist, for something like that to be true?” – Jordan Peterson
Some people don`t know how to take care of themselves. They either don`t do it or they spoil themselves.
(If you think binging on Netflix every night is self-care then you`re dead wrong.)
Taking care of yourself means you become your ultimate best friend, the ideal parent who loves his kids so dearly but don`t hesitate to stop them when they misbehave.
“Every time you give a child something sweet, you make that child happy. That does not mean that you should do nothing for children except feed them candy. “Happy” is by no means synonymous with “good.” You must get children to brush their teeth.
They must put on their snowsuits when they go outside in the cold, even though they might object strenuously. You must help a child become a virtuous, responsible, awake being, capable of full reciprocity—able to take care of himself and others, and to thrive while doing so.” Writes Jordan Peterson in his bestseller, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos.
Ask yourself “What might my life look like if I were caring for myself properly?” Then make some changes. Master the art of self-forgiveness, learn from your mistakes, set goals that excite you, take some off time each month, and decide that you`ll believe in yourself in good and bad times.
2. If you care about it, warm up for it
Moving from poor to rich, obese to sexy, or lazy to productive isn`t simple and required some effort. Like they say; old habits die hard.
But one thing you can make change easier it visualization. Watching yourself moving past obstacles, and becoming your best version stimulate your brain to take action and eventually get the result you want. Take this from Brad Gilbert, the former tennis pro who played against legends like John McEnroe, Andre Agassi, Boris Becker, and Pete Sampras… and defeated them all.
“Let me tell you when the warm-up doesn’t begin. It doesn’t begin when you arrive on the court. The warm-up begins with your brain. Get into the habit of evaluating your opponent and thinking about the match before you arrive at the court. For me it can begin even earlier than that. The night before a match I’ll be in my hotel room thinking about the next day’s competition.
I’ll actually play points out in my mind. I can see myself making shots and winning points. I visualize points we’ve played in the past. I’ll see myself making specific shots against that player. It’s almost like watching a videotape of segments of a match. In the morning I’ll continue the process” writes Gilbert in his bestseller, Winning Ugly: Mental Warfare in Tennis.
Simply ask yourself what you want and what you want to prevent from happening then watch yourself doing it while strategically avoiding/beating every possible obstacle.
See yourself talking to strangers, looking someone in the eye, owning the party, studying hard, working out and working longer. With little dedication, you will see good results.
3. Inject positive thoughts into your mind
You become your thoughts. It`s the truth regardless of how cheesy it sounds. And to succeed; you need to keep that mind of yours as positive as you can. All the time.
“The secret for a successful redirect is to inject a new positive thought pattern into your stilled mind that aligns with your immediate goal. You will infuse these new thoughts with positive imagery and feelings. You will keep your mind focused on the new internal dialogue, imagery, and feelings until you are well into positive terrain,” writes Mark Divine in Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level.
The best way to become positive is to use affirmations. They are also cheesy, but they get the job done.
Here`s what Jen Sincero says about affirmations in her bestseller, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness:
Drown yourself in affirmations. If you want to turn the ship around, you need to rewire your brain and train it to think differently. And this is what affirmations can do for you.
Figure out which affirmations you need to hear the most and repeat them all day long in your head, in the car, while you’re walking down the street pretending to be on the phone, under your breathe in line at the DMV.
Write them on Post-it notes and stick them around your house, on your mirrors, in your refrigerator, in your car. At the beginning, it may feel like you’re lying to yourself, but the truth is, you’re living the lie, so the affirmations get you back to the truth.”
You can follow my lead with this. I have programmed my mind to repeat my affirmations the moment I wake up and each time I enter the kitchen or the bathroom. This ensures that I never miss on repeating them cause who doesn`t cook food or take a shower every day?
4. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday
“Who cares if you are prime minister of Canada when someone else is the president of the United States?” – Unknown
I`ve met so many great people who sincerely believe they aren`t great at anything they do. They aren`t modest; they just can`t stop comparing themselves to other people.
Today, all you need to feel bad about yourself is an Instagram account and a handful of follows to some of its celebrities. No wonder that studies call it the “Worst social media network for mental health and wellbeing.”
According to studies, comparing yourself to others just based on their “filtered” photos is associated with high levels of anxiety, depression, bullying, and FOMO, or the “fear of missing out.”
What justifies these comparisons is that you will always find someone better than you.
“No matter how good you are at something, or how you rank your accomplishments, there is someone out there who makes you look incompetent. You’re a decent guitar player, but you’re not Jimmy Page or Jack White.
You’re a good cook, but there are many great chefs. Some Mafia don has a tackier yacht. Some obsessive CEO has a more complicated self-winding watch, kept his more valuable mechanical hardwood-and-steel automatic self-winding watch case,” writes Peterson.
You should cut down on these comparisons as much as you can.
Easier said than done, I know. But still possible.
You can`t just wake up one day and decide you won`t compare yourself to anyone again. You can`t wash out years of brain wiring in one second. But you can introduce a whole new system and let it whether the effects of the old one.
I call this system: Gratitude and Attitude.
Gratitude: “People who regularly practice feeling thankful have a leg up when it comes to their health,” says Robert Emmons, the psychology professor at the University of California.
So, wake up every morning to look for three things that you`re grateful for (no matter how small). This can be anything from getting a “Yes” for a date to walking home at 4 am without being mugged.
Attitude: Start comparing yourself to who you were before. When you`re in bed at night, remind yourself of who you were before. If you`re progressing, you`ll feel happy, and if you`re not, you`ll be motivated to achieve more).
If you a habit out of this system, the effect of those negative comparisons will lessen, and you`ll start attracting great things to your life.
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Originally published at Pickthebrain.com