3 Tips on How to Prepare for Unexpected Loss
The loss of a job, a relationship, business or a loved one is a defining moment for most people. It is a stage where life tests your ability to endure. To go through the pain and still come out strong or get stuck there
And quitting is so easy.
After all you have lost everything that you think is important to you. It is during this period that you may also start experiencing negative self-talk. You may think you are not good enough. Or you start feeling like you are a victim to life’s circumstances.
But you are not.
Each of us has had some form of loss through our adulthood or childhood. Loss can be as simple as getting fired into your first job or losing your spouse after a few years of blissful marriage.
So how do you prepare for loss?
1. Be intentional about life
Whether you are married, in a relationship of any kind or have a job, you have to stop assuming that things will work out as you wish.
Be more intentional with your life. If you are dating someone ask them if they are satisfied being with you? And what actions have led to that satisfaction. This will help you to do more of that so that they can enjoy being in your life.
At the same if you feel unsatisfied with a person, speak up. How will they know if you are dissatisfied? When you keep things that rattle you to yourselves, you will end up snapping at them at one point. Or overreact to simple things.
If you have old parents make time to call them once a week or monthly. Genuinely get to know how they are doing. So that when they finish their race in this earth, you are not left with “I wish I called them to know how they were doing”. As much as losing them won’t be easy, it would be great to know that you did your best to be there for them.
If you have a family make sure you make time to connect with them authentically. How is you child doing? Is she/he enjoying school? Have they made friends, what perceptions have they gained after going to school?
I know you are probably working hard to provide for them but connecting with them is also important. Soon, your children will grow up. And if you didn’t connect when they were young, you may not be able to have a decent conversation when they are grownups.
2. Be brutally honest with yourself
Are you chasing someone who doesn’t see you in the same manner? I know someone may be really attractive. And have everything you have always wanted in a mate but it’s not worth it if they don’t see you as a potential lover.
In fact you will keep chasing wind for a while before you are slapped with “no thanks”
So what do you do if you like someone? Just tell them. If they say no, move on. May be you are not their type, attractive enough, they are seeing someone else, or they are not in a good place to be with someone. Don’t take it personally, it is okay at least you made a move.
If you are employed, you also need to critically analyze your job without emotions. Do you have a chance to grow? Are you doing enough for the company? Or are you some of the people that can be easily be replaced because you don’t bring much value?
If you need to go back to school to advance your career prospects or for better pay, it’s totally okay. But don’t sit in your chair hoping that you will have that job forever if you keep showing up late at work and meetings.
Do your best so that even if you lose that job you know that you gave it your all.
If you are an entrepreneur like me, you need to be honest with yourself too. I when I was starting my first business, I assumed that there were customers around me waiting for my products.
Boy was I wrong? I dint consider how I was going to compete with cheap products from china. Or how I was going to raise my bills when my business couldn’t bring in any income.
That was a failure in my part, I was not honest with myself.
If your family member is sick or showing symptoms of sickness then they need to visit a doctor. You can’t wish an illness away. You also can’t wait when they are critically ill to take them to hospital. If you need them much longer then they need to see a doctor when they are ill.
3. Learn to let go
Losing is not easy.
It is painful and the thought of “can I do more?” will always linger in your mind for a while before you accept the loss.
What is the first that you hear most people tell you about failure – never give up.
But sometimes there are days when you have to let go of a situation when it is no longer healthy to pursue it.
Let’s say you have a failing business that cannot provide an income to feed your family. What do you do? Continue pursuing the business and let your family go hungry.
You can choose to pause the business for a while or look for a second job to ensure that your child doesn’t go hungry. But you can’t keep pursuing a failing business when you have bills to pay.
How about if someone says they are not interested in seeing you anymore? Probably they list out a set of desires that you haven’t been able to fulfill over the years.
You can try to make it work and show them that what you have is amazing. But you can’t really force anyone to be with you and you have to be okay with that.
So sometimes letting go isn’t so bad when a job or a relationship or a business has run its course.
When you are brutally honest with yourself you will know when it is time to let go.
Have you had some kind of loss recently or in the past? How did you deal with it?