I read Wuraola Sunmonu Young’s piece on LinkedIn titled, THE DARK SIDE OF SUCCESS.
She concluded by saying,
“I wish I could find someone who’d understand, not worry, fuss and fret but really just climb down into this dark hole with me and say “I get it.” “
I replied, “There are people like that.”
BUT how do you identify them?
We all desire people who can understand our heart beats, and empathize with us, but in the workplace where everyone is fighting hard to be ahead of you or become the boss’ favorite, you find it hard to see people whom you can confide in or share your deep thoughts with.
So, how can you find and identify a good support system in the workplace? Here are three ways how to identify who has got your back:
1. WATCH OUT FOR PEOPLE WHO SHARE SIMILAR VALUES WITH YOU
Truth be told, personal values describe who a person is. Personal values show you the deeper end of a person.
People without quality personal values can throw anything to the wind. They don’t mind if you are hurt or thrown out. They only care about what matters to them.
Selfishness is their number one guiding principle and practice. They don’t care about you.
However if you find someone who cares about other people’s welfare and concerns, people who are careful with words they say and don’t want to flagrantly hurt others, these are people who care about personal values.
They can be a good support system in the workplace.
How do you identify them? Watch what they say; the words they use. Watch how they treat those lower in cadre than them. Watch how they speak about their superiors, especially when the superiors assign difficult and challenging tasks to them. What do they say?
How do they use organisation’s resources: prudently or extravagantly?
All these would give you insight into their personal values.
If they share the same values with you, they will respect you and your values. They would keep your confidence. They would support you when the need arises. They would back you up when there are oppositions. They would defend you when others are maligning you.
2. WATCH OUT FOR PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S WELFARE AND NOT JUST YOUR OWN
In the point one above, I actually muddled up personal values with welfare.
I want to say more on welfare here.
In the workplace, there are people who deeply care about other people’s welfare. They are first to notice your countenance the moment you step into the office. They often sense that something might be wrong with your marriage or your relationship. They can feel it when you have done something wrong. There are actually people like that in the workplace.
These sort of people generally care about everybody not just a select few.
They become the go-to-person for most of their colleagues to unburden themselves to. And majority of them have innate counselling skills. They even do it without being trained for that. They keep confidences. They listen well, they don’t jump in to offer unsolicited counsels or advises.
Take note that, there are some of your colleagues too, who seem to have these attributes but they only show these attributes when it comes to you or to some select few colleagues. This set of people can sometime be dangerous to confide in. If they pay attention to only you and don’t care about other colleagues as well, be careful.
Some just show care towards you just to siphon information out of you. Eventually, such information would be used against you when you have issues with them.
So, watch out for such insincere colleagues, they are not the support system I’m talking about here. They only care when they need something from you or want your favour or just be closed to you to get information that would be useful to them as a tool for your destruction or for their self aggrandizement.
3. WATCH OUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE EMOTIONAL SECURED AND INTELLIGENT
Emotional secured and intelligent people are emotionally stable, matured, present, and self controlled.
Such people are good emotional support when you are down and need someone to cry to or open up to.
They understand empathy. They understand personal space. They understand relationships management.
They are people who are highly reflective. They don’t talk anyhow. They are considerate.
They would always be there for you whenever you need them. Watch out for people like this.
If you watch out for these three kinds of people in your workplace, over a period of one year, you would be able to know who and who you can go to as a support system.
Is this helpful?
What’s your own view?
How have you been able to get support system in your workplace