Is feeling lonely keeping you up at night? Worry that you will be alone forever or may even die alone? Do you struggle to rid yourself of toxic men and attract a high value man that has your back and makes you feel good about yourself? If so then this post is for you. A lot of my coaching clients are high value single women who struggle with feeling alone. They are high achieving, kind, empathetic and action orientated women yet when they are alone at night they constantly deal with negative thoughts and feelings of loneliness. The good news is that it is absolutely possible to feel happy and joyful when you are alone, rid yourself of loneliness, and attract a man that you feel supported by. The first key is to know that loneliness is not the same as being alone. The proof of this is if you have noticed sometimes even with friends, or family or even in a relationship we feel lonely. Before I started coaching women, I spent about 10 years of my life jumping from one toxic relationship to the next due to my fear of being alone. Sometimes my relationships would even overlap where I would find myself letting go of one man while I was already “exclusive” with the next. Living from this place of codependency and fear of being single caused a lot of heartache, chaos, drama, and stress, and even when I was in a relationship I still struggled with loneliness.
Here are 3 tips for overcoming loneliness and feeling better fast!
1. Create FUN!
Find and create fun in your life. Fun is such an overlooked human need. When you are enjoying life whether in a relationship or single, not only will this quickly rid you of feeling lonely and fill your heart up with love – it will also set the stage for you to attract a high value supportive partner. If it’s been far too long since you experienced fun, you don’t even know what that is, then start by making a list of all the activities you want to try and then commit to trying out one this month!
2. Notice codependent thoughts
I would argue that all women have at one point of their lives dealt with the psychological phenomenon of codependency. Its simple terms codependency is the training and beliefs system we internalize that teaches women to define themselves based on their relationships, to take care of others needs and feelings before their own, and that if they are single their must be something wrong with them! Be mindful of how this mind training shows up for you in your own life. What do you tell yourself about being single? What do you tell yourself is the reason that you struggle in relationships? What do you tell yourself about being alone? Loneliness is a mindset, so is feeling complete!
3. Get rid of painful relationships
As humans we have the need for connection and intimacy with others. This is a fundamental need just like food, water or sleep. You may find yourself feeling lonely thinking that you are alone with your problems or you may find yourself feeling lonely because you are surrounded by frenemies and in relationships with toxic, entitled men. Get rid of the energy leaks, that’s any relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself! Go out and find relationships with new people, and when you do cut the small talk and get vulnerable. We learn through and feel supported in relationships that make us feel good about ourselves. When we are feeling lonely or unsupported, we can feel such a deep craving it’s like being thirsty for water, however when we engage with others that are toxic to you its like you are quenching your thirst for water with poison. Drinking poison will not alleviate feeling lonely, only make it worse.
My name is Samin Razzaghi and I am a Success and Relationship Coach serving high value women. I invite you to join my free Facebook group if you are ready to get rid of painful relationships, feel better faster, and magnetize to high values relationships.