One day we think we have it all figured out, we are happy and all is well, but at the blink of an eye it can all change and our life suddenly turns into turmoil and uncertainty.
Change is the only constant in life, no matter how hard we try to prevent things from happening, some things will always be out of our control. The great news though, is there is an area in our life that we do have control and that is ‘us’, we have control over our thoughts, our emotions, our beliefs, our behaviour.
When a relationship ends it could be the best thing that ever happened. It is an opportunity to really focus on a new beginning, a new life, a life that you can design and create as a single woman.
Its important to remember that the next phase in life will be a journey, a journey of discovery, there will be no overnight fixes, you won’t suddenly wake up one morning and all the answers to all of your problems will present themselves. You may be met with barriers, bumps in the road and one way streets, however there will always be a solution, the key is to be resilient and resourceful in finding the solutions.
That said, what a rewarding journey it will be. Over the years we may have adopted roles such as wife, partner, girlfriend, fiancé etc and now we have the opportunity to modify our identities and become the person we want to be.
It all begins with us.
So lets have a look at some ways that we can begin our wonderful journey to a better life after a break up.
- GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO GRIEVE AND PROCESS THE CHANGE This is a very important stage to move through first, if we haven’t really processed the emotions that we’ve encountered then the chances are they’ll reflect in our future decision making and thought processes. What we don’t want are the emotions to consume us either so first of all work through the stages at the beginning of the break up, (if indeed you experience them, not everyone does) this will give you a broader understanding and a deeper awareness of yourself. It will give you an insight into your strengths and may highlight areas you need to work on. In this stage it’s most important to be compassionate with yourself and begin forming self – care habits and routines to soothe you. I have written an article that explains the stages and emotions – HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS AFTER A BREAK UP
- GET TO KNOW YOURSELF AGAIN Most of us can put our everything into a relationship and can lose sight of the individual human being that we are. We may experience feelings of being lost, uncertain, worried, overwhelmed as a result of losing a relationship that we relied on so much to give us love, value and purpose. It’s now time to turn that around and reintroduce yourself to ‘you’ again. It is building a relationship with yourself become your own best friend. The beauty of knowing who you are will have a positive effect on all other areas in your life. So, self awareness is key, understand your values, what is important to you, what motivates you, realising your values are your guides to better decision-making and motivators for goals. I have written a beginners booklet which helps you to discover your personal values – You can find this along with other useful booklets in my RESOURCE LIBRARY
- CREATE A VISION FOR YOUR NEW LIFE Set the stage for you to create a vision for your life. Your life’s vision defines who you want to be, what you want to be known for and the set of experiences and accomplishments you aim for. Having a life vision allows you to get more clarity around your future and what you want to get out of it – whether that’s in the next month, year, or five years. Envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection, so don’t be unfair on yourself by expecting a clear and well-defined vision overnight. If you would like further help in this area please feel free to – CONTACT ME
These are only a few ways we can begin to make a start on our new journey.
A New Life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance – but by design.
Make a decision today that you want to be in a place where you can move forward with your one wonderful life with confidence.