Often as women we put ourselves last, put ourselves down and try giving from an empty cup. We take ourselves to the point of exhaustion for everyone, but ourselves and somehow we think this is how we are supposed to act. Many of us were taught this way by our mothers, and they were taught to be like this by their mothers, and so on though countless generations. As an empowerment coach I’ve worked with so many women that are just at wits end, and I used to be this way as well. I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here are 3 things you can do starting today to help you become aware of your self-talk and behaviors to bring you to a happier and healthier place, so you can give from a full cup and not an empty one.
1. Learn to receive. As women for some reason we seem to give until we drop, but don’t want to let anyone help us. I’m sure you were taught ‘It’s better to give than to receive’, just like I was. Well, if everyone is trying to give and no one is willing to receive where does that get us? A simple place to start is when someone pays you a compliment and says they like your dress, don’t say ‘Thanks, but…” or “Oh this old thing?” Just say thank you. Receive the compliment and allow it to lift you. Many people are not even aware that they do this, so try to be mindful of how you reply when someone pays you a compliment.
2. Stop apologizing for having an opinion, interjecting a thought or asking for clarification. “I’m sorry” is over used by women. Your voice matters. You are unique and unlike any other person on this planet and that makes you special and beautiful. Don’t apologize for that. “I’m sorry” should only be used if you’ve done something wrong and then when you do apologize make sure you do it with all sincerity.
3. Starting today, be mindful of the words you use such as “I can’t do this”, “I’ll never learn this” or “I’m so bad at this”. When you say things like this it is telling yourself that you can’t learn and connotes a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset. Instead empower your word choice by saying “I’m still learning…” Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t your right”. So, don’t sell yourself short.
There are many other things we can do to empower ourselves as women. Awareness is the first step to change anything in our lives. Always remember you can’t give from an empty cup and take care of yourself and love yourself because you truly are worth it!