Lately I’ve been hearing from people who are just getting so frustrated with certain behaviours, certain people around them or certain situations they find themselves in. They feel like they are just hitting a wall; and the problem is that often times, the go-to reaction for them is to lower themselves to that level because they simply do not know what else to do.
When instead, what we should be striving to do is rise above and role model being our best.
If you’re dealing with a difficult situation, behaviours or people around you (especially the ones that you aren’t able or willing to cut from your life), here the 3 steps you can take to rise above and move forward in a way that is going to feel good, aligned and positive.
1 – Always role model being your best
They have WON when you start to lower yourself down to their level; it’s something that might feel good short term, but in the long term it is only hurting you. The default for most people is to respond to the energy of a situation; if someone is defensive, you get defensive right back. If someone is really moody and low energy, you become moody and have low energy.
Taking on the energy of a situation or a person is dangerously easy to do and when that energy is not positive, everyone in that situation suffers. Instead, role model how you want the situation to go or what kind of energy you would want to feel.
2 – Set boundaries
Set yourself boundaries, either within yourself or with them, depending on the situation. That might look like simply saying to yourself “I know this person triggers me a lot; I will make sure when I talk to them, its not during a time that I need to be super focused on my work”. Or you will set boundaries in terms of the time you give someone. Recognize what triggers you and work proactively to avoid those situations in the first place as much as possible.
3 – Compartmentalize and see the good
The more conscious part of this process is to remember that you were given that person or situation for a reason. It is a blessing and a gift (even when it doesn’t feel like it) because there is something within that situation that needs to teach you something; you need to master it before you can get to your next level. You also get to decide how much weight you give that situation in your world; how much do you allow it to affect you? And how can you redefine that situation in your head so that it no longer carries the same burden?
When you can pair the tactical strategies (setting boundaries, role modeling certain behaviours and not lowering down to someone else’s level) with the conscious learning you are having in terms of how to have more influence in your life – that’s when you truly gain control of your life and your energy.