Many of us spend years avoiding dealing with the difficult things that hold us back from progressing the way we would like to. Sometimes we’ve learned an avoidance behavior from being in a family that avoids dealing with issues and having hard conversations. We may be afraid to address an issue because we don’t want to offend someone although we feel horribly uncomfortable about a behavior or way of speaking that they direct toward us. Maybe its financial issues that are avoided because you don’t know how to navigate your finances and are too prideful to seek proper guidance as this would expose “your business”, which is “you don’t know how to manage your money. Or maybe you’re avoiding an issue in your marriage because it’s too painful to take on and quite frankly you don’t want to know the truth so you just ignore it “for the sake of peace” yet you have absolutely no peace.
We avoid dealing with hard issues for a multitude of reasons but one thing is for sure, what you won’t deal with will deal with you. Not dealing with issues seeps out into our daily lives in a variety of ways, whether it be anxiety, panic attacks, depression, over eating or being a people pleaser, what you won’t deal with will deal with you.
I say what you “won’t” deal with because you absolutely have the ability to deal with anything head on. Sometimes we don’t feel brave enough or strong enough to deal with hard issues but taking the first step and just saying “I need help in this area” is incredibly helpful and incredibly brave!
Here are Three Steps To Dealing With Difficult Issues:
- Be honest with yourself about why you haven’t addressed the issue before. This usually means examining how you view yourself, determining if you feel uncomfortable for a particular reason such as you’re concerned about being rejected or talked down to or being afraid you’ll make a mistake. Examine the emotions tied to the avoidance and then examine the root of the emotion, where does it stem from.
- Let the main thing be the main thing. Don’t beat all the leaves off of a bush just to address one leaf. If the issue is you feel disrespected when someone cuts you off when you’re talking or a family member constantly makes remarks about your weight, it is perfectly ok to respond after the offense by asking “Is it your intent to offend me?” That’s a complete sentence. The question allows the person the opportunity to examine that their behavior is hurtful to you and at the very least they now know for sure you don’t like it.
- Once you have addressed an issue, let it go. If you asked for help with your financial planning and are now on the right track don’t allow others long memory to keep you in bondage to your old self. We also have to be mindful not to allow guilt and shame from past issues hold us hostage. Our mistakes don’t define who we are they only help shape who we become “if” we use them to propel us to greater!
Today I encourage you, if you really want a serious life change, deal with the hard issues impacting your life and watch your life transform for the better right before your eyes. YOU CAN DO IT!