I see you, working mom.
Using your voice to make a ripple in this world.
I see you, stay at home mom,
Giving all you have to raise those babies and make memories each day.
I see you entrepreneurial mom,
Working from home, fielding calls while the kids sleep, working harder than you ever have to give your family the freedom of time, location, and income.
I see you and I know you.
Because I stand with you.
It’s that nod we give each other in the grocery store when our children are having meltdowns, or the cup of coffee we share at work after a long night awake, sleeping on the floor next to our sick children.
Motherhood is messy, and unpredictable, and beautiful all at the same time.
But having multiple roles or jobs in life, or multiple people who need us isn’t the cause of burnout.
Sometimes it feels like frustration or burnout creeps up on us. But it doesn’t. If you’ve ever been burnt out, you can remember when you had the big crash. Your health took a hit, or you snapped at your spouse or children, but burnout isn’t a one off.
It’s the sum of constantly giving away pieces of our energy, without re-filling the tank.
Burnout is trying to be a “good girl”, a “people pleaser,” and say yes to every demand that is asked of us.
Burnout is caused from bulldozing through one activity of the day, and rolling right into the next, without checking in with yourself.
Chances are, you’re like me. You’re good. You have drive, and work ethic, and you are more than capable of handling anything that is thrown your way. You can birth those babies and get back to business if you choose, or you can run any school fundraiser with one arm tied behind you back, but it doesn’t mean that you should.
In 2017, I spent so much time trying to be a good mom, wife, trainer, nurse, and business woman, that my health and happiness took a massive hit. On paper, I looked extremely accomplished, but inside I was drained.
I was ticking things off my to do list like a champ, but they weren’t the things that I valued the most in my life.
I was going on business trips, and elevating my income, but inside I felt misaligned.
I was in go mode, but I never stopped to celebrate or rest.
If you’re feeling burnt out, I’m not going to suggest that you get a hobby, or spend an entire day unplugged, because let’s face it, if you’re building a business, pushing for a goal, or running something you’re pouring your heart and soul into, you may not be able to take a day off. If it’s a building year in your life, you may have to go all in.
But there are three simple things you can do to prevent a crash in 2018, while you’re building the dream.
- First thing in the morning ask yourself these two questions. Who or what gets my most valued time and attention today and what’s the one needle moving thing that has to be accomplished today? When you have clarity of the goals of the day, and you stay disciplined to block out distractions, it’s easier to say no to other people’s competing demands.
- Manage your transitions better throughout the day. Before you roll from one activity to the next, take a breath and ask yourself, what do I need right now to one up my energy, focus, and ability to bring my best to this next task? Is it a breath of fresh air, a glass of water, a stretch? It only takes a moment to shift your energy.
- At night, ask yourself, What can I celebrate today? When we don’t stop to celebrate, our days become mundane. It’s easy to fall into the trap of people pleasing or chasing perfection, if we never stop to appreciate our daily effort. There are lots of critics in the world, don’t do it to yourself.
When you lay your head on the pillow at night, I want you to feel nothing but happiness. There may be days when the mom guilt kicks in, things don’t go to plan, or you said yes too many times. But always remember, tomorrow is another day to check in with yourself, and in case no one told you, you’re doing an amazing job.