I call it my Resilience Recipe. Some people have recipes passed down through the generations of their family. I guess, in a way, I did too. Only it was a recipe for feeling stressed out, anxious, and depleted. It wasn’t my parents’ and grandparents’ fault that they’d passed this on. It was what had been handed down to them, too. When I entered Jungian therapy at age 25, I began to see the outlines of what I’d inherited and was told for the first time that I had the choice to change it.
And so, I began trying out various ingredients for my Resilience Recipe. My life was my test kitchen and you know there were lots of failures. Sometimes the smoke coming out of my kitchen windows would cause the neighbors to raise the fire alarm. Fortunately, though, I survived those earlier volatile times and learned how to experiment in ways that weren’t so risky.
Over time, I found reliable, nourishing items to include in my recipe and I keep my kitchen well-stocked with those. Now, over 27 years later, I have a tried and true process for being and staying resilient. It’s one that I use every day and I hope you will, too. It’s made up of three steps and nine ingredients.
Step One: Take Stock.
Start by learning what you know, what you don’t know, and what you don’t know you don’t know.
1. When it comes to stress and resilience, I’ve found it’s essential to get clear on the What, Where, & Why.
- What exactly are stress and resilience?
- Where is stress showing up in your day? Where would you like to experience greater resilience?
- Why do these particular conditions cause you to become stressed?
2. One of the biggest problems of feeling constantly stressed is that you lose track of how to find the Off switch. Not knowing how to turn this powerful response system off can lead to a rash of problems with your health, wealth, and happiness.
3. Learn the abundance of benefits from feeling and being resilient. If they’re valuable to you, you’re more likely to stay invested in completing the recipe. You’ll also have a clear plan for what to expect.
Step Two: Mise En Place
It’s a French term meaning ‘everything in its place.’ This is where you bring the ingredients out of the pantry, measure out what you need, and prepare them for what’s to come next.
4. There are simple ways to decrease stress and enhance resilience by understanding which foods help or hinder you, what you can do to get better rest and recovery, and of course, staying fluid.
5. You deserve to find your center at least once a day. It can be as easy as taking two minutes with a Body Sense Meditation, journaling your thoughts and feelings, or walking in Nature.
6. What you feed your mind will make or break your ability to feel and be resilient. With nearly infinite sources of information, it’s vital to be at choice about what you focus on. Give your mind a sustaining, rich diet to support resilience.
Step Three: Get Cookin’
You’ve checked your stock, you have everything lined up, prepped, and measured, now you can get cookin’ and make your resilience recipe a reality.
7. It’s the perfect time to level up so you can dissolve barriers with ninja-like skill. Obstacles, inner and outer, are normal for all of us and developing E.A.S.E. in responding to them is key.
8. Here you focus on consciously re-shaping your mindset. The first seven ingredients give you everything you need to be the one who gets to decide how you feel based on the story you have about what happens within, to, and around you.
9. And finally, own your value. This is the unapologetic embrace of the treasure that is you. It’s the culmination of all the other elements and it ensures that you will, whatever the challenge, be resilient.
If like me, you want to know how to consistently cook up a batch of resilience, you can open up your own test kitchen and start experimenting with any one of these ingredients. You’re sure to make some tasty discoveries along the way.
To your resilience!