It doesn’t matter how successful you are, you can name at least one way you handed over your power and felt awful about it without thinking too hard with your clients, in your relationships, or even with a complete stranger.
You have old patterns and beliefs that allow you to hand over your power in certain situations. It’s almost like clock work. Your trigger happens and you hand over your power, without even realizing it happened.
And then you feel awful.
The key to creating a shift is to recognize that you have the power in each moment to create a new ending, to change how this story goes. In every moment you begin anew.
To create a shift and reclaim your power, these are the 3 things you MUST do in that moment or right after (in case you fell into your old patterns):
# 1 Be Clear
- This is where you say what you actually mean to say.
- You do what it is that you would like to do.
Stop people pleasing in that moment. This hands your power over on a silver platter. You know where this leads you and it is no longer supporting you.
- Don’t play small. Don’t fall into those old patterns.
- Catch yourself in the moment before you speak or act, as the incident is happening or immediately after the incident has happened.
- Watch your energy exchanges like you are a bystander. The moment you start to feel bad, awful, or icky in an interaction, know that is your signal that you’re handing over your power and it is time to fix it. Immediately.
- Catch yourself and say and do what you would like to do. If you found yourself handing over your power, your best energy move is to fix it RIGHT away – the moment you realize that you handed over your power.
Communication is the number one way people hand over their power. What will you do differently?
# 2 Hold Boundaries
Boundaries are YOUR way of telling people what is okay and what isn’t. If you don’t tell them, they don’t know. They aren’t mind readers and what is okay for another relationship may not be okay for you.
- If you are new to drawing boundaries, read this article to help you get started.
- When someone does not respect your boundaries, then you get to decide how to respond to their future interactions with you. You have the power.
By creating and holding those boundaries you’ve created, you reclaim your power. Who do you need to create boundaries with AND how will you hold those boundaries if they don’t adhere right away?
# 3 Stop Taking Everything Personally
When you think everything is about you – you are handing over your power to so much drama and chaos.
It is time to get objective. This allows you to be clear and realize what is your “junk” and what is someone else’s.https://www.linkedin.com/embeds/publishingEmbed.html?articleId=7264869744791452821
When you step back and get objective, like you’re watching the situation on tv, you can look at what is really going on.
- Does this have anything to do with you?
- Are you adding your past experience and triggers to this situation?
- What is really happening in this other person’s life right now?
- Is this even about YOU??? Hint, it’s probably not so don’t hand over your power trying to make someone else feel better. It doesn’t work anyhow…
Before you react – pause, breath and then respond. You’ll act more objectively and you’ll stop giving away your power.
The best way to stay in your place of power is to not hand it over in the first place. The next best thing to do is to catch yourself before you hand it over or right after you hand it over and use the tools above to reclaim it.
In every moment, you begin anew. You can change the interaction and reclaim your power. You’re not serving anyone by handing over your power, so stop doing it for YOU.
If you would like a daily reference guide to help you reclaim your time, relationships, inner game and energy, you can get it here.