Anxiety in general is a frustrating thing to manage, and relationship anxiety is no different.
Relationship anxiety is, as you might have guessed, anxiety that is triggered specifically by interpersonal relationships. This can include friendships, parents/caregivers, or even coworkers, but for today’s article I am focusing exclusively on romantic relationships.
Sign #1: Doubting Your Partner’s Feelings For You
This can manifest as overthinking every tiny detail of interactions, or finding yourself responding to your partner’s affection or compliments with sentiments like “You have to say that because you’re my partner.” You may also find yourself reading into small things. For example, you’re walking down the street holding hands and all of the sudden your partner pulls their hand away. Instead of acknowledging that their hand may be sweaty or they needed to grab something from their pocket, your mind jumps too, “What does that mean?!” Or maybe your partner is busy with work, and you find yourself reaching out and feeling irritated when they haven’t responded within a time frame you deem acceptable. This sends you into a panic, you start thinking worst case scenarios, and you may even blow up their phone (and possibly your relationship) even more.
Sign #2: Wondering If They Want To Leave The Relationship
You find yourself regularly in a state of fear that your partner wants to leave you or isn’t satisfied with your relationship. This then fuels nervous energy & creates tension within the relationship. You may find yourself seeking reassurance in unhealthy ways, like picking fights to test the strength of the relationship, pushing their boundaries to see if they forgive you, and putting yourself down, so you can hear them lift you up. This can also show up as asking questions like “Are you mad at me?” or “Are you happy with us?” often.
Sign #3: Lurking, Checking Their Phone, & General Distrust
You worry that someone will steal your partner from you, or that they may be looking for someone else, so it spurns you to take matters into your own hands. You check their phone regularly, perhaps without them knowing. You keep tabs on what photos they like, who they interact with, and who they receive messages, comments, and likes from. You become hyper vigilant for signs that they have lied, cheated, or want to leave you.
If this is all too familiar, what do you do next?
Relationship anxiety is no joke. It is very uncomfortable and can produce physical symptoms like sweating, shaking, nausea, or a pounding heart. The way to begin to heal your relationship anxiety is to first discover the root cause of the anxiety. Is it from past childhood wounds from your parents or caregivers? Is it from past toxic relationships? Is it from damage within your current relationship?
Once you can narrow down the initial cause of the relationship anxiety you are experiencing now, you can then begin to journal or meditate your way to a healthier inner state which you can then communicate healthily to your partner. There is always coaching or therapy as well if it is so powerful you feel that you need some guidance.
If you are interested in working with me to heal your past wounds and to develop your communication skills, head to my website to check out all of your options!