Saying no can be hard. But moms… You need to say “no” way more often than you actually do. There are so many reasons moms should say no. Especially when it comes to all extra things that people ask of you that may feel like you should be doing, but you actually do not have to do. These are the things that quickly add up and make you feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed.
All these things that you say “yes” to takes time away from you and what is important to you. And when you start saying “no” to these things you start to say more “yes” to you. So here are three reasons moms should say no…
You Feel Guilted
As a mom, you have more than enough obligations to your family. And I am sure you already feel enough mom guilt about all the things you are not getting done. The last thing you need to do is add yet another thing to the list that piles on unnecessary guilt. If anyone is making you feel as if you owe them or you are obligate to participate in said activity…This is a great reason for you to say no! Tell them to kick rocks.
You don’t need to volunteer to be on another committee. You don’t have to commit to planning a fundraiser for your child’s school. It is not a requirement that you attend your aunt’s cousin’s baby shower even if it is virtual. These are great things if you want to and have the time. But if you are doing them because you feel obligated or guilted, they will not be a worthwhile experience. You will begin to feel overwhelmed, overstretched, and resentful. So even when you think you are supposed to, or you have to…You have the right to say “Sorry, I can’t do that” or just a simple “no” will do.
You Are Being Taken Advantage Of
Do you often find yourself saying yes when people ask something of you? Does it seem like you are always the person that gets asked? People know when you are a “yes” person. And unfortunately, many people will take advantage of that quality.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s a good thing to be a giving, dependable person. However, it is important that you establish boundaries with people. Especially with those that tend to take advantage of you. If you find that you are constantly giving but not getting the same in return, you may want to reconsider. Or if you find that you are not being shown appreciation for when you show up, limit people’s access to you.
You Already Have A Full Plate
Moms are known for being pros at multitasking. It’s a power granted to you as a mom. But you don’t have to do everything for everybody all the time. You need to recognize your limits. There are only so many hours in the day to get things done. You don’t need to add something to your already overwhelming schedule especially if it doesn’t directly serve you or your family.
Just because you have the time or it seems like a simple thing to take on doesn’t mean you should add it to your plate. And when your plate is full it usually care for yourself that is the first to go and that is not ok. If what you already have on your plate has you stretched to capacity…just say no.
It is hard to say “no”. It something you have to practice on a regular basis. But I guarantee you when you start saying “no” it will get easier and easier every time. Practice with your friends, community and school groups, work, your spouse or partner and even your kids. If people are use to you saying yes they can get use to you saying no.
You don’t even need to always have a “valid” reason to say no. Because you don’t want to or you don’t have the time are valid enough reasons. And frankly you don’t even need to always explain yourself because as they say, “No is a complete sentence.” There is no need for guilt. Saying no to more things will mean saying yes to yourself and the things that are important to you more often.
And the truth is everyone is not going be happy about hearing no. But establishing boundaries is so important for your overall wellbeing. It’s okay. Take a breath and do it. It gets easier with each no. Suddenly, you will find more time to prioritize your own needs and you will find that you are a happier, healthier and less stressed version of yourself.
This article was previously published on https://themom-forum.com.