3 Qualities To Bring To Your Deep Discomfort Instead Of Running Away

I wrote a blog post to share with you today. It started with I’ve been putting on sunscreen for the past few days. Is it okay to keep talking to you about sunscreen? I know there’s so much going on right now in the world. Every sentence I type out I immediately delete because it feels, imprecise. Too generalised. Over simplified.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team, and though they are reviewed for adherence to our guidelines, they are submitted in their final form to our open platform. Learn more or join us as a community member!

I wrote a blog post to share with you today. It started with I’ve been putting on sunscreen for the past few days. 
Is it okay to keep talking to you about sunscreen? 
I know there’s so much going on right now in the world. Every sentence I type out I immediately delete because it feels, imprecise. Too generalised. Over simplified. 
I get asked questions about how to handle challenging and changing times, and I’ll be really honest with you I’m still figuring this one out
And I know I will be for a very long time. 
What I do know is that my relationship with my emotions has evolved dramatically. I’m more used to welcoming them in, all of them. 
I’m uncomfortable. Deeply uncomfortable. And that’s okay. 
I also know that things we’ve never done before can pull up a lot of uncertainty. Which can also make us want to run, freeze, or get defensive (in order to handle the “uncomfortable”). 
Uncertainty is intrinsic to our lives. And how we choose to handle it shapes our lives. 
Three qualities I know matter most to me, and particularly during big uncertainty and times of emotional processing are: kindness, gentleness, and grounding. 
Kindness is almost a vow to me, of always seeing the best in people. Of believing that we are all doing the best we can in any given moment. That everyone, at their core, is the same. They are love. And they deserve kindness. Including ourselves. Beating yourself up for feeling bad right now, or for not knowing what to do, or for any of the things you’re telling yourself is not helpful because it only keeps you frozen. Bring kindness instead. Soften into yourself. And that softness could just surface some answers (and even action) for you. 
Gentleness. Goes hand in hand with kindness. Whatever you are feeling, how could you treat it with gentleness? How could you allow yourself the grace to allow it all in. Whether you feel joy, delight, pain, confusion, anger… all of it in. I literally try to imagine myself hugging myself, or I picture something gentle and soft (like a teddy bear, I know it sounds a bit ridiculous as I type, but it conjures up a feeling of gentleness to which I can then apply to whatever my situation is). Don’t get this confused with inaction or not speaking up. Gentleness can be the lever to give you what you need to channel your action, your voice, your change. 
Grounding. How do you come back to your centre? On an average day? On a stressful day? What makes you feel like you? My word is grounding. Yours could be confident, or centred, or strong, or calm. The state that you know feels like home. There’ll be clues left along the way. Times of upheaval we need this grounding more. Return to the things you know work for you, even if they feel trivial to you right now. They’re highly unique. It doesn’t matter if someone else thinks baking a cake won’t do anything right now – if it will, to you. You feeling grounded makes all the difference in order to then show up in the world the way you need to. Change of this nature, global systemic change, requires a sustainable fuel source. It requires you to keep showing up fully. To be willing to learn, to grow, to allow yourself to be fully human. 
It’s okay to be uncomfortable. Trust that it is here to teach you something. You don’t have to fully understand in order to learn. ❤️ Keep showing up. Keep trusting yourself. 

First published on

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


10 Things I Learned About Life from Writing 10 Books

by Pam Stucky

Jim McKelvey Cofounder of Square Speaks On Business Success Strategies (Exclusive)

by Christina Kumar

Why it’s Important to Own Your Voice

by Jade Scarfone

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.