Community//

3 Perspective shifts that can help you deal with an altercation better

What might they be going through that could have made them act this way? Sometimes we don’t think about the way someone acts could actually be because they are struggling with a personal situation themselves. When we can look at it this way, we harness our compassion and humanity for others and understand that we […]

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.
  1. What might they be going through that could have made them act this way? Sometimes we don’t think about the way someone acts could actually be because they are struggling with a personal situation themselves. When we can look at it this way, we harness our compassion and humanity for others and understand that we are all human, and have all maybe not acted the way our highest self would have acted.
  2. How can I respond to the situation with compassion? Most of the time if we look back to how we may have treated someone in the past, it is usually because we were stressed, emotional about something or just maybe on an off day. If we all have that one moment every now and then that makes us do things we don’t usually do, then maybe this is their one-off moment? So maybe we could give them a pass or look at it more compassionately. Obviously if it happens very often, then we are looking at another kind of situation entirely where you may have to ‘social distance’ for a long period of time. Ha. Whenever something challenges us, it is always best to try and gather our thoughts and respond rather than react. Reacting does nothing for either party and it can end up in an ugly cycle of continuous hurt. We say things we don’t really mean because we are angry. We act out of anger and hurt and then we feel guilty, regretting things we have done. If we collect our thoughts and emotions as much as possible while breathing first, we can try and see things from a level headed perspective and respond with love as the highest intention. In saying this, I don’t think you should push your own feelings down in order to resolve or diffuse, the aim is just to try and have an adult conversation and resolution, rather than a toddler fight. Try as hard as you can to see things from their perspective and to hear and understand their feelings. When you do this, you are more likely to come to a middle ground and you won’t end up regretting things said or done, which can add more fuel to the fire and prolong the altercation. Be open and willing to forgive and let go and say sorry if you feel you may have had any part in it, validating their feelings too.
  3. What can I learn in this situation? In any relationship in life where we have challenging communication, there is always something to learn. If you are open to this being a possibility, you will grow as a person and become much more happy than someone who is not willing to learn at all. This can most likely end up in a victim state consciousness where the person is not at all interested in resolution and more interested in the perpetration and drama. They are also most likely to be always in the same situation and seem stuck in life often. So I know for myself, whenever I have tried to see a lesson in an altercation (which I have always found), I grow, have more compassion for people and move through life a lot easier.
    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Community//

    The truth about toxic people

    by Leanne MacDonald
    How You React or Respond Matters
    Community//

    Why Responding Lovingly to Others in All Situations Isn’t Difficult

    by Terri Kozlowski
    Wisdom//

    The Happiest People Give Difficult People the Benefit of the Doubt

    by Shane Parrish
    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.