Heather Bartos: “Don’t compare yourself to what everyone else is doing”

Don’t compare yourself to what everyone else is doing. Diet and exercise can be super trendy. So just find out what works best for you — not your neighbor, Keely (who’s probably copying someone else anyway). As a part of our series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Heather Bartos MD. A board-certified […]

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Don’t compare yourself to what everyone else is doing. Diet and exercise can be super trendy. So just find out what works best for you — not your neighbor, Keely (who’s probably copying someone else anyway).

As a part of our series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Heather Bartos MD.

A board-certified OB-GYN, author, podcaster and everyday gal, Dr. Heather Bartos is a leading voice in the field of women’s health. She is also a US Navy Veteran, former Associate Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology and is currently medical director of her “village for women’s health,” Be. Women’s Health & Wellness outside Dallas, Texas. Featured in publications from Glamour and Huffington Post to Reader’s Digest, Women’s Health and ABC News, Dr. Bartos loves talking all things women and sex on her podcast, The ME Spot.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?

Of course! I decided to be a doctor when I was 28. Previously, I had worked in advertising and public relations — caring for some big-name country singers and representing a bunch of great companies. After I got dumped by my boyfriend and my coveted internship in the same week, I moved back home and started working for the world-renowned Texas Medical Center. I had always been interested in health, but I realized I wanted more investment into the space. So, I went to medical school. I was the oldest woman in my medical school class, despite knowing men in the same class that were well into their 40s. And then, I realized I thought differently than a lot of medical professionals. I thought that was a bad thing, until I began to understand it was a great strength. Every bump in my road was a lesson, and every difference I learned to celebrate.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?

The whole journey has been interesting. Fascinating. The journey is the lesson, and the joy. When I think of my life path in terms of a great road trip — where you get an occasional flat tire, the gas station’s closed, but also you get to see some amazing sights and meet great people you never expected — that’s the takeaway. It’s not about the destination. It’s the sightseeing along the way.

Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Giving into fear. I am the breadwinner of our family, and I was so afraid I had made a decision that would negatively impact our future. I was horrified to think patients wouldn’t show up, wouldn’t follow us from the corporate office. Did I do the right thing? I had little kids who needed shoes! I now understand that fear is a sign you are doing something brave. So, when I get a little uncomfortable with a decision, I realize it’s a sign I’m taking a new step.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

My kids. They are a major motivator for my lifestyle wellness but keep me focused being a great role model. We talk about integrity, humor, self-love and awareness, staying true to ourselves and our values daily. Teaching and molding theme keeps me true to myself! They are an essential part my business. They’re the next generation!

Ok perfect. Now let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?

I want to help women outside of the 10–15-minute appointments, cut through the bullshit they’ve been fed by society and culture, and set themselves free to do and be who they want to be. And I want to help women uncover what healthy truly means to them, and learn to look at themselves as whole people, not just a set of symptoms and checkups. Because really — you can lose the weight, manage your symptoms, and get yourself into down dog every week and still be as unhappy as you were when you started.


When we start to think beyond symptoms, examine our thoughts, beliefs, physical health, sexuality, and life circumstances… profound changes happen. We put ourselves back in the driver’s seat of our lives, stop comparing ourselves to others, and become the healthiest, happiest version of ourselves — regardless of weight, diagnosis, or ability to do a headstand.

Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.

  1. Don’t compare yourself to what everyone else is doing. Diet and exercise can be super trendy. So just find out what works best for you — not your neighbor, Keely (who’s probably copying someone else anyway).
  2. Do LESS. We read about celebrities getting up at 0500 to meditate or working out twice a day to get a great bod. POO! We as women often need to cut down not add more to our already overflowing plate — what can you take off? Be honest! Marie Kondo that “I should” list down!
  3. Think about a power hour. I utilize a power hour to get all my “stuff done” each day — flossing, face masks, 5-minute meditation. I do whatever I can in one hour, and then I’m good for the day. And sometimes, it’s a lot and sometimes it’s not. But I don’t spend hours each day thinking about what Ishould be doing.” It’s super liberating.
  4. Add in sex. Even with it’s with yourself. Sex is a vital sign for your life. When you feel sexually complete, you can move mountains. Don’t cross this one thing off your to-do list. EVER!
  5. Just move. It can be dancing around the house to your favorite song while you clean or walking in nature. Whatever works for YOU, sis. Just move that bod and it will move your soul! (spoiler alert: it doesn’t require an expensive gym membership or a Peloton).

If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?

I’m already working on it! The ME Spot Movement will empower women sexually — and that leads to empowerment in all other areas of our lives. It’s not about “intercourse,” but finding our inner sexy — which is our confidence, our resilience, and our life force. We pass this down through the generations and watch out — we are going repair the universe’s past DNA of shame, regret, and other damaging emotions. And our health and wellness will follow! (The first step is The ME Spot Podcast and The ME Spot Community)

What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?

  1. Read the room. You’ll find out very quickly what’s not working and aligned with your mission. I once had a Qui Gong teacher in our office that was surprisingly closed-minded. She embarrassed some patients and was overall difficult to work with. So, despite feeling that Qui Gong was a great practice to offer, I read the room and decided she didn’t align with what we wanted.
  2. But think outside the box. If something’s not working, how can we creatively make it work? And I rely on suggestions from everyone in every level of service from office. Everyone can make a great suggestion. What’s something you can borrow from another industry that might be genius (and unexplored) in yours?
  3. Do good work and people will notice. Someone once told me “Don’t focus on the numbers,” just do good work and it will spread. If I focus on what my numbers are, I’m no longer aligned with my mission, which is to educate women in wellness.
  4. Don’t worry about the competition. I don’t even watch other clinics in the area. And I never ever criticize or bad mouth a competitor (karma). If I’m obsessed with the competition, I am playing defense. I don’t think Tom Brady thinks about what other teams are doing, he just sticks with mission and goals. Same with Simone Biles. The true sports greats focus on besting themselves, not others.
  5. Never freak out. When I had patients or staff leave, I used to freak out. What if they hate me? Or think I’m stupid? I realized that freaking out was stifling my mission. I knew what I wanted to offer. What I realized about these people is that if they don’t work with me, that’s on them. Stay true to yourself, and freaking out also increases cortisol, which is never healthy 😉

Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?

Mental health is key because those others can exist without it. And we’ve negated and belittled it for so long — it had such a stigma and adds insult to legitimate injury. Nearly every medical visit I see, everyone needs some mental health boosts. Mental health is not a terminal disease! We can nurture our mental health daily and talking about it is the best way to rid ourselves of debilitating anxiety, depression and more.

What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?

Stop by TheMESpotPodcast.com or say “Hayyy!” on Instagram/Facebook at @DrHeatherBartos and TheMESpot on TikTok.

Thank you for these fantastic insights!

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