When I reach 25 everything around me was completely different from the age of 24. It is just a year different, but I feel like a decade and I feel like I was live in upside down world for all those years. Life teach me a lot of lessons that I think I should learn long time ago. It end up that I been took a lot of things that I got got, and happened for granted and never appreciated all the things around me good enough. I gone through tough time ever of my life that it took me for a long period of time to figure it out and heal from it.
It might be started from when I have chose the wrong major to study which I think I can do it one day to full fill my family's dream. But at the end I can say it was such a wasted. I never give myself a chance to speak up, how I feel to all the people around me even my own family. I let those negative thought, fear to control my life over and over. I keep thinking that no one will understand my situations, that I am all alone in this big world, I would spend my alone time to walk beside the lake try to understand things around me when I was stressed over my life. I don know what to do with my life at all that time.
Until like one day, I lost my control over things because all I did was scream, yelled, and blamed everyone one about what I received. I feel like I have no hope to move on, to keep myself going for new day, to motivate, to concentrate on things I need to do next.
It took me few month to finally realized that what I have done for myself just because I don know myself or love myself enough. I never truly happy from my heart. I keep thinking that I never get a real happiness from where I live. But every thought that I have was wrong. I finally speak up, use my voice with my aunt, family, and and let her listen to what I have to say about my previous experienced, and what I keep holding on for this whole life.
Until like the beginning of 2016 that I start to see a bright light like I just wake up from the longest nightmare ever of my life, and it was completely shocked me. I have a different view of how I see thing around me, different idea of how to find real happiness, I find more value in myself, I love myself a lot more than ever. I understand what is the meaning of life, found my passion, follow my heart, and my soul.
From today on, there are only peace, joy, memory, lessons, and experiences to take out each day.