2020: A Pandemic Poem

A working mother's account of this "unprecedented" year

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Photo credit: Charles Zablan

I am the space holder, educator, plan maker, order taker, money maker.

I am the space holder, asking, “Are you OK?” to clients, colleagues, children, family, neighbors and friends. Ready to hold the problems, the hardships, the anger and tears, the loneliness and the unknown. Without answers; with reminders.

“This is hard.” “We can do hard things.” “Be gentle with yourself.”

I am the educator, hitting ‘print’ for some worksheets while uploading others, troubleshooting Zoom, asking 100 times, “Did you do your reading?” Feeling overwhelmed, longing for what was, sad for what is and worried for what will be all at the same time.

I am the plan maker, organizing socially distant everything, making sure everyone has their mask on and hands sanitized, managing the calendar and mailing the packages.  Reimagining in-person events, acknowledging virtual is the new reality. All while wanting things to feel at minimum ‘normal’ and at times even special.

I am the order taker of contactless groceries, the documenter of wish lists, wants and needs. Keeping track of shoe sizes, birthdays and toilet paper.

I am the money maker who now wears sweatpants and cleans the four square feet behind her desk while the remainder of the house is a mess. Once a professional who dashed out the door each morning with clean hair and coffee in hand who now realizes a commute qualifies as self care. One part enjoying the integration, one part exhausted and anxious.

I am the space holder, educator, plan maker, order taker, money maker. 

I see you.  

I see us. 

I celebrate us.

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