Gloria Ward: “If you’re not happy with what you’re getting, start focusing on what you’re giving”

“If you’re not happy with what you’re getting, start focusing on what you’re giving.” This quote helps me stay focused when it comes to the type of energy I put out. If I want good energy I have to give out good energy. As a part of my series about “How To Learn To Finally Love […]

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“If you’re not happy with what you’re getting, start focusing on what you’re giving.” This quote helps me stay focused when it comes to the type of energy I put out. If I want good energy I have to give out good energy.

As a part of my series about “How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Gloria Ward.Gloria is an Entrepreneur, Revenue Strategist, Author, and New-Thought Leader who has been at the forefront of helping women and women business owners learn, grow, and profit.

Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.

I started the I’m Loving Me Project out of my own despair. After getting two DUI’s, losing my marriage, and starting my business from scratch, I knew I had to make some big changes in my life. I knew I had to take a look at myself in the mirror and really discover who I was as a woman.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?

Oh yes, currently we offer virtual EmpowerHer Sessions for women who need clarity as to why they’re stuck in their life and what direction they should go in. We are also offering coaching, training, and mentoring to women who want to start and build a business as well as get help to finally overcome their trauma through self-healing.

Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self-acceptance?

I have plenty. This journey of self-love and self-discovery is never ending. From choosing a career to choosing a mate, there are always old habits and patterns that no longer serve you that you’re going to encounter. I remember when I received my second DUI, I actually hit someone. It scared me so much because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that I actually hurt another person. By God’s grace, myself nor the person I hit was hurt but it sure was a real wake up call. At that point, I knew that with all the things that were happening in my life at the time if I didn’t pull it together I probably wouldn’t be here today.

According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?

Society is really hard on us. By us, I mean women. We are told that if we don’t look a certain way or act a certain way we are not cool, sexy, or pretty. Social media is a fantastic tool but it also reinforces this idea making it difficult for young women to accept themselves for who they are. As a result, we have a lot of young women suffering from depression and going to extreme measures to look like what society believes they should look which is very upsetting.

As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?

First it’s not cheesy, it’s necessary. When we love ourselves we can be the best for everyone else around us. Others will always get our best love, respect, and gratitude. It’s why we are here.

Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?

Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of also being alone. My advice to anyone who’s afraid to leave is to think about what it’s costing you staying. Are you getting the love you really know you deserve? Are you being treated the way you really want to be treated. Learn how to raise your standards and get comfortable with being alone and learn how to enjoy your own company. You might just find out just how much you really love yourself when you do.

When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?

When I look around me, Is this really all life has for me? Is this really the best I can do? Is this relationship bringing out the best or the worst in me? I remember being in a relationship that I knew wasn’t serving me but I enjoyed what it was giving me which was company and comfort. I was always complaining and always asking to take things a step further. Then I realized that I shouldn’t have to fight this hard to make a relationship work. I shouldn’t have to fight anyone to grow. I had to recognize that time was up in that relationship and I had to walk away and I did.

So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?

You have to get comfortable enjoying your own company. Just because there’s nobody there currently doesn’t mean they’re not coming. Sometimes you have to be alone to discover and find out who you are so you know what you like, dislike, and ultimately engage in a healthy thriving relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong, it does suck sometimes, but, you have to look at what’s right and good for you. The more you discover who you are, the best you can be for someone and most of the time that requires you to walk alone for a bit.

How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?

Oh that’s everything. There’s nothing like a woman who knows what she wants and what makes her happy. When she loves herself she surrounds herself around others who do as well and her vibe becomes her tribe. It is such a great feeling to be in relationship with friends or mates and they understand that nothing is more important than loving yourself. Loving yourself does not mean being selfish, but it’s choosing to continuously work on yourself so you can be the best for them.

In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?

As an individual you must become self-aware of those habits and patterns that no longer serve you. You have to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself those hard questions and face yourself and past. Society as a whole, that’s hard. I would say stop putting superficial labels on people. Promoting and pressuring woman in particular to look and be a certain way.

What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?

I read something inspirational everyday. I work on being aware of my thoughts and feelings as it relates to people and work, I also read biographies of people who have overcome extreme odds, I workout, and meditate. I’ve been doing these rituals about 4 years now and it has really kept me focused. I also have fun. I listen to music I love and do my best to stay in a vibration of love when I’m around my friends. Reading and being aware helps stay conscious of your thoughts. It helps you see just what you’re really thinking and feeling throughout the day. The workout and the meditation I consider that to be my power up and power down sessions. In the morning I work out to get myself pumped for the day, and in the evening just before I go to bed, I meditate and try to clear my mind so I can have a good night sleep to wake up and be better the next day.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?

Well I really enjoy our Self-love conversation podcast we have on our platform. Being able to interview some amazing women who have overcame the odds and now making it happen in their life never gets old to me. Books: I love Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza, Life and Work Principles by Ray Dalio, Becoming by Michelle Obama, and The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes. These books focus on how you can increase your self-love and truly create the life you want.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…

That will be The I’m Loving Me Project, where we are inspiring women around the world to love themselves.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?

“If you’re not happy with what you’re getting, start focusing on what you’re giving.” This quote helps me stay focused when it comes to the type of energy I put out. If I want good energy I have to give out good energy.

Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!

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