The most powerful practice you can put into place to reframe your reality is establishing healthy boundaries. I grew up one of seven children in a tiny, overcrowded house. We shared everything, from dresser space to sleeping three to a bed. I learned the importance of marking out my boundaries at an early age.
Beyond the obvious physical and psychological boundaries, I had to figure out where I ended and someone else began—what truly was my concern and priority and what belonged to my siblings. Their urgencies and priorities were not always mine. Their fights and disagreements were not mine. I had to learn the skill of not getting entangled in “group think” and to maintain my individuality.
You may be familiar with the twelve areas that comprise your life compass, which is a way to focus your vision and stay guided in the direction you want to go. In my writing, I use Buckminster Fuller’s twelve degrees of freedom as a metaphorical representation of how you can create synergy around twelve areas that make up the directional points on your life compass. These twelve areas are significant to maximizing your full potential in the most healthy, holistic manner.
What do you need to separate from in each area to garner greater forward momentum? What are some disciplines you need to establish that will help you get unstuck wherever you’re not seeing the results you’ve envisioned? This would be a good time to get your journal out and do some writing. The prompts are only suggestions to help you get started.
1. Your personal brand. This is “people’s perception of and emotional attachment to the image that comes to their minds when they think of you.”
- What might you need to separate from to protect your brand reputation?
- How can you exercise more discernment when it comes to opportunities and threats?
- What thought or behavior patterns erode the health of your primary relationship?
- Consider how you might set apart not only more time, but more energy for your loved one.
3. Family (immediate and extended)
- What is keeping you from engaging more deeply with your family?
- Do you need to eliminate some toxic emotions regarding a family member?
4. Personal growth and development
- What is keeping you from maximizing your personal potential?
- Do you need to reevaluate habits or routines in order to accelerate your personal growth?
- How clearly are you discerning your calling in this season?
- What daily disciplines will propel you forward in your career?
- Do you need to separate from any friends or associates for a season?
- Are there any thoughts or words you need to eliminate regarding a friend or colleague?
- Might you need to realign your priorities in order to invest in the growth of your network?
- Should you walk away from any alliances or partnerships? 8. Recreation and renewal
- What is getting in the way of your taking more time to re-create and renew?
- How can you readjust your schedule?
9. Spiritual growth and development
- Do you set aside time each day to invest in your spiritual growth?
- How should you put an end to any sinful thoughts or behaviors?
10. Financial stability
- Do you need to rein in certain spending habits?
- Have you faithfully set apart your tithe?
11. Health, wellness, and fitness
- Should you separate from any foods or beverages?
- Do you exercise daily?
- Do you go to sleep at a reasonable time?
- What do you need to do less of now that will enable you to do more later?
- Are you setting apart time and/or money to invest in the next generation?
Sometimes it’s not a matter of needing to do more in the various areas of our lives but discerning what you need to eliminate. Take a candid look at what might be more of a distraction than a benefit. Every garden needs to be weeded, and every home can use a good decluttering. Say goodbye to whatever isn’t serving you or is no longer serving you in this season.
This is an adapted excerpt from Goodbye, Yesterday!: Activating the 12 Laws of Boundary-Defying Faith. Copyright ©2020 Published by Charisma House. Used by permission.