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100 Moms – The Sex Talk

100 Moms talk real, about real things.

To buy condoms, or not to buy condoms? That's the real question!

Leslie reminds me a lot of my Mom, she too had a way of making me feel extra special. Being around her gives me indescribable sense of warmth.

Leslie also has only one son. Together, we’ve shared our struggles in seeing our babies as men, and both work to catch our minds up to their ages.

Leslie and I happily enjoy independence, while secretly missing the days we once complained about. These days we boast and boast, and then boast some more. We mutually love each other’s kids, even though we don’t get to see them.

During our time together, Leslie took care of her son, while helping me to do the same. Leslie not only provided me friendship, she was instrumental in helping our family acquire the resources we needed to ensure Michael received the best care in the country!

Leslie is most humble, and seemingly unaware of her specialness. I think it’s that quality reminding me most of my Mom.

Leslie, “We had the sex talk. I was very open about condoms, and bought them for him.Tip 8

Leslie and I shared a lot of parenting practices. In our home, we too talked openly about sex. I think the discussion should start at around age 5, and it did with us.

One governing guideline is to talk in an age appropriate way. I’m not so sure I nailed that one. It’s especially important to remember, the “Sex Talk” is not about what you are comfortable with. It is about educating your child in a core area of their life and future.

I remember when I was explaining things to Michael, vividly. He came home from school and said, “This kid said you have to be naked to make a baby.” I knew it was time.

I gently began to explain the details, cautiously yet uncomfortably. I told Michael about the mechanics of things. I can still see his wide eyes as he said, “You guys don’t do that though! Right?!”

This is the exact moment I went off course. On the one hand, I do believe in parenting truthfully. It is my foundation! I wanted him to trust my information and to count on me; however, when his eyes went dark I knew I went too far.

I said sheepishly, “Well, yes we do.” Oh my! It was as if a little piece of him died. I could almost see his brain shut down! I knew in the moment it was too much information, “TMI” as the kids say nowadays.

In hindsight, I’m not sure what I’d advise. I guess he knew, and I vowed, I would tell him the truth even if it hurt. Maybe if I said, “No” he would have eventually learned different. I’m not sure. In the end, maybe the trick would be, stop talking before their eyes go black, and their brain appears to shut down.

Following that piece of truth, the conversation came to an abrupt end. I then went to Big Mike, reported the incident and told him to handle it. J

In Michael’s early teens, I provided condoms. They were under the bathroom sink, promising no-questions-asked. With this announcement, his eyes started to fade once again. I took the cue and quickly added, “For your friends if they need them.”

I never did have to replenish the box!

For more on “the talk,” check out another great article, https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/12439-let-s-talk-about-sex-kids

Next week, Celia on courage! 

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