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100 Moms – Honesty

100 Moms share their parenting experiences, real Moms real talk.

Mama D dressed up as her "little" boy for Halloween.

Donna (aka “Mama D“) is starting off a family quartet. Donna and the follow three women are great family leaders connected in love and by two of the cutest little kids.

Not only is “Mama D” a fabulous grandmother and great grandmother, she has also given me one of the most amazing gifts I’ve ever received, Big Mike! We’re all so very lucky to have her and her love.

Donna is the kindest, most generous, easy-going woman I’ve ever known. It is my treat to have her for a Mother-in-law. She is lovely, the perfect Mother-in-law, a beyond perfect Grandmother and is adored by all who know her.

Donna does it all with the kids, and they light up to see her. Lovingly referred to as “Mama D,” she holds a role of majesty in the family. “Mama D” shows up in all the ways that matter. She is loved and respected each day of her life.

Donna, “Try to always be honest.” Tip #2

I like Donna’s tip #2, I love it because it says, “try.” I am a huge fan of parenting truthfully; however, sometimes the truth is a bit much for developing brains, as clearly illustrated in an earlier column on “The Sex Talk.” One of my most common philosophies is, “Get as close to the truth as you can.”

I know, “Mama D” provided a beautiful childhood for her babies. A childhood is no place for complete parental honesty. Honesty can be scary, especially, when we as parents have no idea of what we’re doing or where we’re going. Sometimes we have to choose between providing honesty or, a sense of security.

In our communication with Michael, we used age-appropriate language and information. He was on a need-to-know basis. We didn’t cloud his head with negativity, grim perspectives, pessimism, or even gentle gossip. Michael’s environment was tailored to him for him, free from fear and doubt.

I didn’t want Michael to know I was terrified, broke, or betrayed. I didn’t want him to know I failed, had poor judgement, or no idea what to do. Instead I would tell Michael I was tired, or maybe cranky. Those words were close to the truth, but were not scary.

Michael deserved an explanation for my sour moods; however, he didn’t deserve to be fearful and to feel unprotected. He didn’t deserve to believe the world was a scary place because his Mother couldn’t handle it.

I tried to always provide love, security and a lot of room for fun, just as “Mama D” did with her babies. In both cases, our kids have grown up to be strong, confident go-getters, able to give and receive love.

I believe our “kids” move through life a little easier, and a bit more quickly, not having been forced to carry the extra baggage that can come from parents who overshare. I agree with Donna, all we can do is try.

As Moms we have to discern what information to disclose to our kids. Right or wrong, we try to do our best. I think in weighing information, knowing our own kids, and trying to do our best, we can find our answers. It is the consideration that will make the difference.

Thanks for all your consideration! It sure does make a difference!

Next week, the second member in this family quartet, Angela on worry.

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