I’m a confident woman but still, at times, I feel myself step back into thinking I am less worthy, less smart, and less experienced than someone else. And yes, this still happens.
Or when those gremlin, saboteur, and monkey-mind voices start screaming in my head and filling me up with self-doubt that makes me want to back down. When I hear these voices I take a deep breath, stand up and take a Power Pose Position and use these Top Ten Tips to remind myself of the power, talent, skill, and strengths I possess.
Tip #1. Nothing’s Permanent. In my Catholic school teachings, a tactic was used to keep us behaving and staying in our place. We were told if we were bad, they were putting it in our “permanent record.” In college, we were told it would go into the files potential employers would review. In companies, it was always the dreaded personnel file where all our badness would be collected. Well, don’t worry, they may go in there, but no one, absolutely no one, looks at them. So, don’t let that stop you.
Tip #2. Master Your Strengths. If you do, no one will care about your weaknesses. My career has been what I call a portfolio career. Every 18 months I would be looking for something new and challenging to do. I always questioned this pattern as my friends would get hired and stick to one path. Quite a few years ago, I took an online assessment called Strengths-Based Leadership and found that learning is one of my top five strengths. That was my light bulb moment. The answer for my career movement every 18 months is that I learned all I could in one area and was on to the next. This now is one of my greatest strengths that I use as part of my brand.
Tip #3. Remember bad experiences made for scrappy stories later on. Look at challenges and what feels like big losses from the perspective of ‘in the future’, you will see it as a “You’re-not-going-to-believe-this-story…” factor. Just like my story above.
Tip #4. Appreciate those around you and show them your appreciation. The key is that you are modeling behaviors and what is acceptable and not acceptable all the time. Make sure you are a great model.
Tip #5. Live by your values no matter what. Know them and never compromise. Use those values as your guide and stand up for what matters most to you. If you compromise your values, respect for yourself will decrease. Be sure you are living them every single day.
Tip #6. Hold everything lightly and not too seriously. Remember you are not saving babies. Unless, of course, you are.
Tip #7. Admit what you don’t know. Don’t lie or make it up. People will know.
Tip #8. Find true, honest and loyal friends who will tell you what you’re great at and keep telling you what you’re great at when you forget.
Tip #9. Always prepare for Crucial Conversations. Ask yourself and be very clear with your answers:
- What do I want for me?
- What do I want for the other person?
- What do I want for the relationship?
Tell them what you want. Be very clear on what you are asking for.
Tip #10. Keep an “Atta-Girl” or “Atta-Boy” file. Fill this file up with the wonderful things people say about you, the thanks they give you, and all that recognition you receive. Open it frequently to remind yourself how absolutely amazing-brilliant-wonderful-talented and beautiful you are.
How do you increase your faith in yourself?
Written by Pat Obuchowski