Gary Chapman wrote a book called, “The Five Love Languages: The Secrets to Love That Lasts” and in it, he discusses what he coined as the five languages of love, which are the most common ways that people express and experience love. These five love languages include words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. If you aren’t sure what your or your partner’s love language is, you can take this quiz to find out.
Now, finding out what your partner’s love language is step one to better understanding how to love them, but step two is figuring out how to best implement their love language into your relationship. That can be hard, so to help couples out, I put together a list of 10 different things you can do for your partner that is specific to their love language.
Words of Affirmation
1. Encourage them often
2. Send unexpected text messages letting them know you’re thinking about them
3. Write short notes for them and spread them throughout the house for them to find randomly
4. Offer emotional support
5. Give handwritten love letters to them for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.
6. Tell them you love them a lot
7. Give compliments frequently
8. Find customizable gifts that you can put a special message on, in, etc.
9. Post shout-outs for them on social media
10. Always acknowledge how they’re feeling
Receiving Gifts
1. Constantly surprise them will small gifts like flowers, sweets, trinkets, etc.
2. Plan a trip or date night
3. Listen and surprise them with something they’ve been wanting for awhile
4. Make their favorite meal
5. Always get a souvenir for them whether you’re traveling alone or together
6. Plan a surprise birthday party for them
7. Give them your time and attention when they need it, i.e. when they’re sick or have lost a loved one
8. Pick up items that they say they need from the store
9. Give quality over quantity gifts, i.e. thoughtful gifts are more appreciated than expensive gifts
10. Surprise them with lunch at work or school
Physical Touch
1. Give them frequent massages
2. Play with their hair/rub their back when possible
3. Give them reassuring touches, i.e. rubbing their knee, to let them know you’re there for/with them
4. Hug/kiss them regularly
5. Sit close together when possible
6. Take them out dancing
7. Cuddle often
8. Hold hands in public
9. Be sexually intimate frequently
10. Touch them in some way whenever you walk past them
Quality Time
1. Find a hobby that you both enjoy and do it together
2. Surprise them with a date or vacation for just you two
3. Put your phone away when you’re spending time together
4. Plan a weekly date night
5. Take frequent walks together
6. Find a show you guys both like and make time every week to watch it together
7. Invite your partner to run errands with you
8. Make dinner together regularly
9. Set aside a few minutes everyday to just sit down together and talk
10. Go to bed at the same time
Acts of Service
1. Take care of them when they’re sick or sad
2. Make a meal for them every now and then
3. Fill their car up with gas
4. Run their errands for them if they’re busy
5. Say you’ll do the chore around the house you know they hate the most
6. Frequently ask them if there is anything you could do to make their life easier
7. Surprise them with a clean house, car, yard, etc.
8. Put their towel in the dryer for them while they’re in the shower so it’s warm when they get done
9. Do things they ask you to do, within reason
10. Call them when you’re out and ask if there is anything they would like you to pick up