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New Year’s Toast from a newly divorced mom!

Closing a chapter means to take charge and responsibility of your life, the courage to ask for help, serious self-reflection, and well-deserved celebration!

As I reflect through my year, I realized how far I’ve come!  Exactly one year ago, I was feeling immensely sad for the sudden rupture of my marriage, experiencing my first Christmas as a separated single mom and so many waves of anxiety in a sea of worries and fears.

Change is something we all resist, but when it comes abruptly it is even harder to process.  Last year, I remember saying to myself-while saying goodbye to 2017, “This shall pass”. “What I am experiencing today is temporary and next year I will be in a much better space!”

I have to proudly say I am a Happy Single Mom!  My intentions and precise words became a reality, dear friends.  I made a commitment to myself and worked so hard toward my healing/grieving process. In this internal exploration journey, I made some incredible discoveries that I want to share with you! In the spirit of celebration, I will like to make a toast to a fabulous new year of adventures.  I will share my 12 lessons of 2018 and each lesson symbolizes a month of the new year. My intention is to revisit them every month and simply remember!

I am raising my glass to:  

  1. January 2019– To opening my eyes every morning (not picking my phone) and taking 3 deep breaths and filling my lungs with oxygen and immense gratitude for a new day and a new opportunity!
  2. February 2019- To the eternal romantic in me…To the discovery that the most important relationship in my life is the relationship with myself!  And the only person responsible for my happiness is ME!
  3. March 2019- To the listening and awareness of my deepest fears (conscious and subconscious), and opening space to allow them to speak instead of ignoring and avoiding them.  To the recognition and validation of WHY fear exists with the purpose of protecting me from the pain and suffering. The lesson here is to listen, acknowledge, talk to Mrs. Fear, and keep moving forward to my destination.  
  4. April 2019- To be honest with my humanity… The recognition that I am human and so imperfect!  I’ve been trying so hard to be perfect, but it’s totally impossible! I am not a superwoman… I am a strong, powerful and courageous, and I am imperfect too…  (Insert all your imperfections and decide to love your imperfections too!)
  5. May 2019– To ask for support when I need it! I used to think that I can move forward on my own… The “know it all me”, the “I have everything figure it out attitude”… Yep..  Until my heartbreak was unbearable, and I struggled big time. After falling on my knees, I decided to be vulnerable and compassionate with myself, remembered my spirituality, opened up to a super closed group of friends, and just a few family members. I chose to visit a psychologist for cognitive therapy and a certified professional coach and mentor specialized in divorce.  I truly set my mind and heart to receive all the support I needed to heal my wounded heart.
  6. June 2019-To the humane effort of letting go my controlling self and surrendering to what life has to offer.  Such a difficult task, but so freeing! To let the Universe unfold itself, and letting go of the “what IF’s mentality”.  I’ve noticed that the majority of my fears and worries are in my head, and are not real! I’ve concluded that reality is so much better than all the “what if’s” scenarios in my head.  Cheers to this!
  7. July 2019- To the fighter in me that learned to survive, cope and hold a smile on her face even in the most heartbreaking situations.
  8. August 2019- To celebrate my small wins and big achievements. I want to celebrate my progress! Why? Because I choose to do a better job emphasizing the positives in my life journey and not the other way around.
  9. September 2019- To stop the constant comparisons with other women.  I stopped the nonsense and not spoken competition we tend to have with each other.  It is the ultimate blow to my daily happiness and I don’t want that in my life anymore. I love healthy competition, but from now on I choose to compete with myself only.  I will evaluate my progress every year, and look forward to celebrating my evolution.
  10. October 2019- To the new found love for silence and reflection.  In this busy world that we live in, if we don’t give ourselves time and permission to stop, step back and reflect, it will never happen! The years will fly by so fast and when we actually look back we may not see the progress we intended to have for our lives.  The reason why I’ve learned so much this year is that I’ve allowed myself to truly listen to my deep thoughts, feel my feelings, and reflect on my journey. I believe this is the way to moving forward.
  11. November 2019- To finding magic in the mundane, the ordinary, the simple everyday moments with myself and with the people that I love.  To acknowledging that life is super short, treasuring the daily small moments of joy and not taking any instant for granted.   I choose to live right NOW in the present breath.
  12. December 2019- To the remembering of who I am, what I’ve learned in this life exploration and forgetting all over again.  To being grateful for my life development and growth, to access my joy triggers and simply LIVE with cero regrets, and lots of JOY!

Now I am super curious to know: which one of the lessons resonate with you?  Would you like to toast with me?! Cheers to a fabulous 2019! Salud!

I am Socary Rodriguez, I am a certified Life Transitions coach and reinvention strategist.  I work with women that are going through major transitions in life, and guide them to remember their courage, self worth and JOY!

Grab The Self Love Toolkit here so that you feel supported, joyful and energized no matter how crazy life gets! You can reach Socary at [email protected] and connect with her!

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